"It's been a while..." seems like an understatement, but regardless, I'm here now. Unfortunately, it takes a sense of tragedy to bring feelings to light and with details of the bombings at the Boston Marathon plaguing my mind, I couldn't help but write something. My personal journal is being filled with personal drama of finding a new apartment, trying to find time between school and work to do much of anything, making sense of turning 30 this year... and, while those seemingly trivial topics do matter to me, the tragedy in Boston hits closer to home because being a part of marathons has been a way for me to make sense of loss. When I lost my niece nearly four yeas ago, I felt like I needed to do something, ANYTHING to be an active part of helping to find a cure. So I made the attempt to attempt 50 marathons in 50 states before I'm 50 - with the idea that I would do a fundraising effort with each marathon I finished, with the proceeds going to childhood cancer research. Even though it is a small gesture, I held out hope that more people would notice and, if not anything else, be aware of childhood cancer and the fact that awareness needs to be made. With each marathon I ran (currently four), I held my niece and other childhood cancer angels so close to my heart I could swear that they were running along side me. I can remember vividly being so close to that finish line and feeling such hope in the cause I was running for.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Musings on Boston
Which brings me to today - I received news of the bombings while I was at work. I guess it didn't effect me until I saw the footage while I was on my break, which happened to be hours later. They showed slow motion footage of the bomb going off near the finish line. I guess what got me most was the fact that I saw runners collapsing when it happened. I mean, think about it. They had been running for over 4 hours and were yards away from accomplishing a goal they had worked so hard on - when the unthinkable happened. I can hardly imagine it. I have notoriously said that the hardest part of the marathon is the .2 of the 26.2... and these bombs were literally in the .2, - the final moments of the race. As a runner, I am petrified at the thought of it. But then I thought of being a runner and knowing that my family and friends are there supporting me and are likely at the finish line waiting for me to cross. Where would they have been? The feeling caught me off guard, and it took all I had in me not to sob openly in the break room. And then I thought of other tragedies in my adult years that have made the news - major landmarks, malls, schools, movie theaters... is nothing safe?
With many of my races, I have ran alone - literally, alone in a city I've never been to. No one is at the finish line, no one is personally cheering me on in the crowd and I've been alright with that. Part of me feels like it helps me focus more on my goal - it motivates me to keep moving. But this act of terror in Boston... this specific act of hate... left me feeling so vulnerable. What would I do if I were in a city alone and something like this happened? How can I even prepare for the unexpected?
On the way home from work, I browsed through my facebook feed on my phone. In the midst of well-wishing for Boston (and a surprising amount of the same Mr. Rogers quote with varied fonts and pictures), I saw this article that a friend posted on facebook:
Of all the articles swimming in the vast sea of the internet, this one struck home. It is still too soon to tell what the reason (if any) for this bombing is. It is scary to think about and imagine what could have happened, but like the article suggests "Empathize, but refuse to be terrorized". Our minds instantly cause us to think that this is something that could happen anywhere, but truth be told, it is incredibly unlikely.
So yes, I am still a bit emotional. When I am finished with this blog post, I am going to crawl into bed and hold my partner a little bit tighter than I normally would. But I feel reaffirmed in my goals to run in races while my heart goes out to the city of Boston and everyone effected by this immense tragedy. We will get through this together.
2012
I just posted another blog and realized I had never posted this one... It is terribly unfinished, but features pictures of 2012 - some have descriptions, some do not. But I'm posting this unfinished blog as is - flaws and all... Enjoy.
- N. Pug, 04/16/2013
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All of you dedicated bloggers out there, I tip my hat to you. Unfortunately on the list of priorities for me, updating my blog is fairly low on the list (shockingly, since the last real post was the beginning of this year). I attempted to update, but I always got stuck at trying to describe how work was going. I love baking and pastry with a fiery, dedicated passion - but the night shift has been wearing me down more and more. It's been harder and harder to shift back and forth between the night schedule and a regular schedule on the weekend, then balancing school, a healthy relationship, eating right, exercise, etc. - I definitely fell into a rough spot and the last post I did in June was my attempt to find something positive in the hours I was (and still am) working. Since then, I've been taking some incentive to make changes - mostly in matters of perspective, but also in other areas of my life (including the odd schedule I'm working). It's a work in progress - albeit appropriate considering the name of this blog. Alas, much has happened in the past half year (how could it not?!) so instead of my overly-mindful ramblings, I'm going to post random pictures and a brief description of each... My attempt to prove that pictures really do paint a thousand words.
My trusty side-kick, John Galt
Back in March, there was an odd warm spell in Chicago and I bought this bike for commuting down to work. Since then, I've been biking down at least 2-3 times a week - the trip takes roughly 40 minutes to (or from) work and is 18 miles round trip. Killing the commute and exercise with one stone has been fantastic. (I always tend to name inanimate objects and this bike is named John Galt after one of the leading characters in one of my favorite novels, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand)
My favorite view of Chicago - The specific spot is near Lakeshore Drive and North Avenue, though only accessible if you are walking or biking. Usually when I am biking home, the sun is rising and the city looks stunning. This type of weather and this type of view almost make the winters worth it. Almost...
Spring Break 2012 - The spring semester at school was particularly rough with my Biology course, so my regular trip back to Utah for the 5K just didn't work out. I was able to make it back to Utah for a few days - My sweet sis has some great pictures on her blog here of that trip. In a crazy turn of events, Scott's mom, step-dad and brother were in town for a wedding, so we all met up for dinner. Overall, the entire trip was amazing. If it wasn't so expensive to fly back to Utah, I'd love to make the trip back there more often - but I feel that my family and I always make the most of the time we have together. The trip was certainly no exception and I feel a stronger bond, more open and honest communication and deeper love for each of them.
Des Moines - We always tend to make it back to Des Moines a few times during the year - especially with the wee ones growing so quickly. These are a few pictures of Scott and I with the youngest, Antigone (Annie) who was born in November.
Lion King-ing the cat - This really doesn't deserve an explanation, but I think it's hilarious. Not familiar with Lion King-ing? Check out this link.
I was planning on running the Madison Marathon, but with anticipated temperatures of high 90's, the race was canceled the day before the race. I was still able to run the half marathon (in 2:09:07 - a time I was happy with considering the temperature was low 80's by the time I finished around 9:00 a.m.) The rest of the weekend, I indulged in the local Madison scene...
My post race tradition is eating Mexican food - this place seemed a little too good to be true.
While not as big as my head, it was pretty huge. I had to take a picture of something to compare it to...
So intense, so delicious. You better believe I ate the whole damn thing in 10 minutes... and regretted it the rest of the day.
Also checked out the Madison Botanical Gardens
Scott and I have also been to Millenium Park a few times this summer for music festivals, like Stars of Lyric Opera at Millennium Park
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