Last Night in Salt Lake City

What a rollercoaster these past few weeks have been - so many ups and downs and so incredibly emotional.

I took this past week off because I wanted to focus my energy and time with those who I truly care about. To be completely honest, I am not sure when I'll be back to Salt Lake City... I realize the holidays are coming up, but I am not naive - in the hospitality industry, holidays are like any other day. Plus, seniority is a big thing when it comes to getting time off... So while I'd like to think that I'll see my Utah friends and family in a matter of months, the likelihood of me being able to with being the new guy in town might not be possible. So... that in mind, I spent Monday with my sister Tiffany and her daughters, Tuesday with my oldest sister Heather and her kids, Wednesday was spent with Mom, T (and her girls) and Heather and Taylor (my niece) for Taylor's birthday, and today was spent briefly with Mom in the morning and later with my brother Jason and his family.

I'm not good with goodbyes... people say that, but I really have a hard time. Especially with my Mom and my siblings. We share a very close bond and no matter what conflicts we go through and what disagreements we may have, we are always there for each other 100%. I think that is one thing that hit me when I said goodbye to T yesterday... these past few months have been so emotional with Sadie's condition and then with the situation a little while ago with Scott and I... But through it all, T and I were there for each other. When we said goodbye, we just held each other and cried. It was also very difficult for me because I'm not sure when (or if) I'll see Sadie again - and she was probably thinking 'What the hell is wrong with Uncle Nik?' because I had to fight back sobs when I said goodbye. And saying goodbye to Mom and Jason and his family.... not any easier. Luckily for me, Heather and Kirk are helping us move tomorrow when we come with the moving truck - so at least I can prolong another goodbye. I've filled my quota for the day and I'm emotionally tapped out.

In other goodbyes, I stopped by my dad's grave to pay some respects. It's strange how familiar a cemetary can be, but for as long as I can remember, there was always something so comforting about being there. It still hasn't changed. So I sat down and had a little conversation and let him know what's going on (although I'm pretty sure he had a good idea regardless). While I was there, I felt the distinct thought not to look back (metaphorically speaking) and to look forward to the future... I left feeling even better about this move and feel it will have very positive results. Plus, I also had a good feeling my dad will be helping me out along the way.

One thing that has been very interesting about this move is the surfacing of true friendships. I have been pleasantly surprised and completely appalled by our friends over the last few weeks. Scott and I have been inviting people to dinners and parties to give us (and our friends) some time together before we leave - and there are some who have dropped everything to come and be a part of the short time we have here... then there have been some who have had numerous excuses or... none at all... saying they'll be there and they're not... I, sadly, have come to expect such behavior from my previous friends, so it was no surprise to me to see it happen again with some of them... but some of Scott's closest friends didn't even put an effort and it really upset us. But, tomorrow, life will go on for us and there will be new friends and our close friends that have shown themselves to be unconditional will still be very involved in our lives as we will be in theirs...

I'm really excited. I'm really scared. I'm really tired. But most of all, I can't wait to start from scratch in a new city. I know it's going to be such a great experience for Scott and I.

Oh. P.S. Happy Pioneer Day. We did nothing but pack all night and bitch about everything in Utah being shut down because... well... it was Pioneer Day. Hope you all enjoyed your 'holiday'. ;)