phoenix

I've been slowly getting things together for the move in a few days - trying to know what exactly I need to bring for however long I might be gone. I'm beginning to realize that beside clothes and a few items, I really don't need much. (Of course, I say that now and I'll probably end up with a Dodge Neon full of random things.)
At any rate, I was thinking how incredibly difficult it was for me emotionally to leave Utah and move to Chicago. My family was at a point where we weren't sure what was happening with Sadie and the idea of planning a move across the country during this time seemed incomprehensible. I feared throughout the months prior to the move that something might happen to Sadie while Scott and I were driving to Chicago or that something may happen in the first few weeks I was there. Gratefully, that didn't happen and it was around that time when Sadie was able to do many wonderful things.
The interesting thing I've noticed since moving out here to Chicago is the connection I've felt to my family. I like to think I took advantage of most opportunities to be with my family while I was living in Utah, but there has been an increased spiritual connection while I've been away. (I really can't explain it - perhaps other people who have lived away from home know what I'm talking about.) Also, people who really know me know that I rely heavily on spiritual feelings and impressions anyway, but that has been dramatically increased while being here in Chicago. One thing I've noticed is that I've been having dreams more frequently - very poignant and vivid - to the point that I've been recording them and trying to understand them more fully. There is one in particular that is so close to my heart that I can't usually think long about without getting emotional and I woke up this morning with the feeling to share it. With the idea of Sadie and of time being so precious for my family, I felt it appropriate:

"Jan. 27, 2009-
As the dream began, I remember a small boy with a large bunch of beautiful red balloons. The dream progressed with some random storyline that I can’t quite recall - but every now and then there would be that boy with the balloons. It seemed though that every time I saw him throughout the dream, there were less balloons. At the end of the dream, I was at a stadium of some sort and noticed that the boy was there and only had 3 balloons left. For some reason, he accidentally let go of the remaining balloons and they started to glide through the air. They weren’t just floating up. There was a huge crowd of people at the stadium and it seemed that everyone was just struck by this scene of these beautiful balloons just gliding a few feet above the crowd. One by one, the balloons popped by a few people trying to get rid of them and only one was left. I remember being so outraged that out of all those balloons only one could be left and I was shouting at people trying to make them stop and to just let the balloon do it’s thing. It was so beautiful as it just glided and it seemed that most all of us were just hypnotized by it. The final balloon ended up popping, but as the remnants of the balloon slowly fell down, it slowly changed into a bird - one I recognized in my dream as a phoenix. I don’t think words could describe how breath-taking it was - it looked young and full of life. And instead of the typical idea of what the mythological bird looks like, this bird was similar to pale pink in color, but so vibrant and amazing to look at. As odd as it sounds, it’s a color I know I’ve never seen awake but recognized it instantly when I saw it. Another detail was its eyes - they seemed very defined and confident, yet peaceful. It landed near the crowd and just stood there majestically. As we all stood there, speechless and in awe, another phoenix landed next to the first. At this time, I became a overcome by emotion in the dream and I started to sob uncontrollably because the sight of all this was so beautiful. As I was crying in my dream, I realized that I was dreaming - and as I was waking up, I still couldn’t hold in the emotion and I woke up sobbing."

I know in my heart the meaning behind this dream, but feel the description of it will wait for now. But since this may be the last post I make before I head back to Utah, I ask for your prayers for Sadie and for the Huish family during this time. (And maybe if you have a moment, some prayers for my poor Dodge Neon to make the trip back to Utah.) :)