Facebook

Today is the first day off I've had in about 7 days. Needless to say, I've done a lot of nothing. Ok, I take that back. I did about 5 loads of laundry - but how hard is it to put clothes in a machine and walk away? Seriously. I did spend a lot of time online for many different purposes - work related, downloading music, researching different things, etc. But one thing that has stuck out in my mind today is Facebook. I didn't realize how many people have a facebook account - which is actually a very fascinating thing to me. I've found in my life that I am very much like a book. I feel that there have been many chapters in my life and feel I'll have many more - but I find that when I move to a new chapter in my life (now for instance is Chicago) I leave the previous chapters behind - thinking of them fondly, but leaving them in the past. With Facebook, however, I have friends from (literally) every chapter in my life. Old friends I grew up with, members of the ward I grew up in, people from middle and high school, people from the mission, when I lived in Las Vegas, people here in Chicago - I feel like every chapter in my life has suddenly mashed into one. I no longer wonder what people have been up to over the past 10 years because I get a constant news feed on them. I'm not sure yet if I consider this a good thing or a bad thing... I always felt like my life had a sense of mystery - as though every person I knew had a piece of the puzzle of who I am, but didn't know me completely. Now most all of the people who holds these pieces are together in one spot and I feel... open? naked? not mysterious at all? I'm not sure what word or description I'm looking for, but it's just a bazaar feeling. Am I the only one who feels this? Odds are that anyone who reads this has a facebook account - is it just weird for you to have so many people from your past in your present?

Prop 8

I won't lie. When I heard of the results of Proposition 8, I felt a huge lump in my throat. I got emotional. In fact, I'm upset and saddened by every single state that passed a ban on gay marriage. In California, the votes were very close - so, although the outcome isn't how I would've liked, it's great to see that there are enough people in that state who support gay marriage.
While it is true that Proposition 8 didn't effect either state I've resided in this year and I don't have intentions on getting married soon (if it were even possible for me to do so), I know many people who are from those states whose love and desires are pure and true - yet had their rights taken away. It's just sad. I don't know what else to say.

The votes are in...

Although I live in Chicago, I couldn't make it down to Grant Park to enjoy the celebration of our new President... The joys of working early. But let me just say that there was a roar of cheers and screams in my apartment building and I've never felt more proud to be an American. I don't know if I've ever felt any sense of faith and hope in our government and now I feel it happening. And it feels good. :)

My lack of personality is catching up with me...

The past few weeks, like I said in my last post, have been filled with work... and now I finally have time to sit and jot down a few things.

First off, do you guys remember me telling you about the Marriott Downtown and how they made a part-time position for me after I rocked their stage? Well. Here's the update. They told me that all I needed to do was fill out the online application and the personality test and we'd be squared away. I'm not sure what exactly they were looking for, but the first time I didn't pass the personality assessment. So I got a call back from the Executive Pastry Chef there (who I get along very well with) and she told me the news. She asked me to try it again, but this time fill out every answer the way the Marriott would ideally want... just play it up. So I did. And I didn't pass it again. So I got another call from her asking me to try it again - annoyed, but really wanting this position, I did it. I even called a dear friend who works at the Marriott for some advice on what I might need to do to pass it. So I felt confident in the test and sent the Marriott a message telling them I finished the application and waited to hear back from them.....
.....Fast forward 2 1/2 weeks and I still hadn't heard anything. It was hard not to assume that I didn't pass or that they decided not to create that position they had made for me - but I gave it one last effort and e-mailed the pastry chef about the results. It turns out that I didn't pass the personality portion again and that they ended up giving the position to someone else. Needless to say, I was a little furious. And confused. As Scott reminded me, I had worked for Marriott twice before - they seemed to like my personality then... why not now? Suffice to say, I don't care much for personality tests anymore. I have the experience, I have the knowledge, and I was even offered the position - but because of that test, it didn't work out. I am very much of the belief that everything happens for a reason, so with the effort and time I put into this position and having it still not work out, I can't help but feel that it just wasn't meant to be from the start. I'm not sure why... but when I figure it out, I'll let you all know.

That's the most recent drama in my life. Other than that, things are going very well. Work at the Westin is getting back to normal - I just filled out all the information for benefits for Scott and I... so we should have insurance just in time for the winter. It's so weird sometimes to be an adult - I never expected something like insurance for me and my partner to be high on the list of my priorities. But I'm glad it is now - I'm sure it'll come in handy. :)

Anyway, Halloween is coming up, which is actually my sisters birthday! Growing up, we'd always deck out thehouse in Halloween decorations - it was always a big deal. This year is no exception... Scott decided to throw a big Halloween party, so I took it upon myself to decorate the apartment with pictures, spider webs, lights, pumpkins, etc. It's pretty much the shit. And as an added bonus, I'm dressing up as David Bowie from the Labyrinth.
Granted, my facial features aren't as pointy - but other than that, I have the whole damn outfit ready. Including a large package. Pictures are sure to follow.

And lastly and very importantly, Scott's opera is this weekend!! I'm so excited to see then man in action. He's been telling me how crazy his character is and how he rocks it - so I'll be sure to tell you more about that in the near future.

Hello and Goodnight

Just a quick blog to say I am still alive. Work has been insane over the past month - in fact, my last check said that I worked roughly 106 hours... Suffice to say, I come home and sleep - wake up, eat with Scott, and sleep again. And then repeat. Thankfully, the busy season is slowing down and I have time to recuperate, which means that I'll have time to type out some random thoughts and rants again from time to time. That being said, it's getting late and I should head off to bed. So, while this entry is small, be sure to look for a new entry soon.

reflections on friendships

There is a stretch of road while I drive to work that runs through a wooded park... I was on my home today and realized what an array of color there was in the trees - I love autumn... It's nice to see everything so rustic and colorful - and also nice to have it a little cooler. Word from my family says that Utah has seen snow a couple times already - thank godfully, I have not. I still have time to enjoy the scenery for a few more weeks.

Work is busy - hence, my lack of writing. I've also been doing quite a bit of self-reflection lately - Hell, I always do - but this has involved thinking about my past, experiences with school, experiences with friends, relationships I've built - some I've held on to and some I've let slip away. I don't know if you guys have gotten that e-mail that puts friendships in terms or being there for a reason, a season, or lifetime friends... I know I've gotten it at least 5 times - if you haven't, let me know and I'll send it to you. Anyway, I haven't read the e-mail for a while, but randomly at work, the words popped in my mind and I got thinking about my friendships that I've had throughout my life. I feel that I have been an unconditional friend to many and there have been quite a few who have taken advantage of that. But more importantly, there are an incredible few that have been completely unconditional in return. Then I thought of those who were in my life for a reason and haven't been in my life since. Then I thought of those friends who were in my life through different stages - in high school, or on my mission, or in Las Vegas. And while I think of these friends fondly, I really don't expect them to call me and I have no intention on calling them. Long story short, I ended up deleting my myspace account because I had a giant list of friends who, while I love and have experienced so much with, were there for a specific reason in my life or at a time in my life that I've evolved from. For example, I have some dear friends who I met while I was a missionary - and for a while I did all I could to keep in contact... but as I have changed from a faithful LDS missionary to a pastry chef living with his boyfriend in Chicago, I found I don't have the connection I once did. I'm just not sure anymore if I should make a strong effort to keep something alive that I no longer really recognize... Any thoughts?

Mara Adams

Yesterday I heard news from my Mom that Mara Adams, my niece Sadie's friend and fellow fighter of DIPG, passed away. I don't think I can express how much I despise the disease that my niece is fighting and Mara bravely fought. Profane words aren't powerful enough to express the anger and tears shed aren't enough to express the gut wrenching pain. It hits hard for me because, although I didn't know their family personally, I know what their family is going through. Being hundreds of miles away, I rely solely on communication through phone or internet simply because there is no way to be there physically... so I tend to hide in my work or keep myself busy to stay distracted. Such was the case yesterday when I heard the news of Mara. Tonight, however, I looked at Mara's blog which gave an account of her heroic battle with DIPG and I came across a picture that was taken a few weeks ago. It shows Mara at the hospital, smiling. She had just written on a chalkboard simply, 'Mara was here'. It made me smile... And for some reason, I was alright with everything. It's so amazing to me that these small children, who are dealt such a difficult card in their life are able to learn to live with their struggle without complaining and still enjoy life to the fullest. And with wonderful organizations like the Make-A-Wish Foundation and other countless organizations, fundraisers and community involvement, these kids bring hundreds of people together in the act of love and service. These kids live more and accomplish such a great deal in their short 5 or 6 years than many people do who live a long healthy life. To Sadie, Mara and many other countless kids who are or have faced this battle, thank you for giving me someone to truly look up to.