Summer 2010

The past few months (also known as 'Summer') have come and gone incredibly quick. The only things I have to show for it are some great lessons learned from the school of hard knocks while I was at work, a sweet farmers tan from training for the Chicago Marathon while running outside and a couple of blog posts that were started and never saw the light of day. For the hard knocks lessons, you can visit my other blog here. As far as my farmers tan, I don't even want to look at it myself, let alone show you. But alas, the unfinished blog entries, I can definitely share. Here is one that I started on July 28th, which then moves in to a blog I started on June 25th:

I don't know where this summer has gone - I'm looking back on July alone and it is literally a blur. I suppose that is what happens when time is spent being incredibly involved in work (large parties, wedding cakes, wedding planning - and especially research for the new menu in my off time) along with training for the marathon in October, tennis every week - as well as a unexpected social life with new and old friends. It's been busier than I anticipated and I'm finding myself a little shocked that Scott just got home a few days ago.

The last paragraph was incredibly condensed. Let me elaborate somewhat... June held some incredibly emotional times. Namely, the 25th was the one year mark of Sadie's passing... which, I'm not going to lie, threw me into a funk. I started to write a blog about it, but never finished... here's what I did write.

(This is where the entry from June 25th picks up)

Today marks one year since my niece Sadie passed away... and while I am resisting the urge to talk about the memories and emotions that made me a hot mess today, I want to focus on something I realized today. The reason I am back here in Chicago, living my dream is because of Sadie's example. If it wasn't for her passion for living life to the fullest, I honestly don't think I'd have been proactive as I was to apply for the position I am currently in. It was a form of inspiration to reconnect with a contact (my boss, now) and the chance in a lifetime that my dream job opened up that next week. I pursued it with all my energy and intent... and I got it. I remember during the application process and the interviews, I thought of Sadie taking advantage of time to do the things she wanted to do, and that gave me the extra drive to make my dreams happen.
That is just one of many reasons that she inspired and influenced me then... and still does to this day - I know for a fact there are countless other people who share that sentiment.
It was actually a very special moment for me today to be able to have some time to sit and reflect on Sadie's short but fulfilling life. To aide in that process, I pulled out an audio copy of Sadie's funeral service that my sister gave me right before I moved back to Chicago. I listened to the music that was played and words spoken, and while tears were steadily flowing, I couldn't help but feel overjoyed. My sister and her husband did such an incredible job with the organization of the program, because it truly was a celebration of Sadie's life (and her love of it) while she was here. And I guess that's the positive message I've been trying to pull from today - Enjoying life while you have it and living it to the fullest. My sister did an amazing job in her talk, telling memories, playing clips of Sadie singing and laughing, telling about her favorite things, way and examples she showed her love.... truly special.
I thought of her all day today but I couldn't help but feel her with me when I was icing and decorating a wedding cake. That may sound strange, but knowing Sadie's love of baking (and her attention to detail and decoration), it was a special moment for me to do something I know she loved, especially on a day when she was constantly on my mind.
I realize this post is a bit all over the place, but I couldn't let the day go by without acknowledging Sadie and her memory today. I miss her so much and still look up to her and her example.

(The entry then picks back up when I wrote on July 28th)

My birthday was the next day an I ended up working a 13 hour shift - it was actually a unique experience because we had 2 wedding cakes to prepare and set-up, in addition to a celebrity event that was being held at the hotel. The event was called Rally for Kids which is an organization set up for kids with cancer. The idea behind the even was that the celebrities would be driving super expensive cars and do a scavenger hunt all over the city of Chicago. The scavenger hunt itself was not just picking up items, but doing tasks along the way - and our task at the hotel was to have the celebrities build a 2-layer cake in 12 minutes (including the icing, filling and decoration). The first task was that they needed to whip their whipping cream for the filling until it was stiff enough - and they got bonus points if they were brave enough to flip the bowl of whipped cream over and hold it over their heads for a couple of seconds. My personal task was to judge the whipped cream station for the bonus points and every single celebrity went for it. They all were able to do it, although one group flung the bowl over their head so fast that the bowl flew out of their hands. It landed on the floor and shot the whipped cream all over the front of my pants and the floor around me - luckily enough stayed in the bowl so that the lady could still fill her cake.
All in all, it was a fun event to be a part of - and the cakes the celebrities made generally looked awful.

(I wish I had pictures of that event - but since most of the celebrities were... well, celebrities - it would've looked tacky on a personal level and bad, as an employee of Marriott, to snap a few pictures. Rest assured, it was hilarious. E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi and Apprentice winner Bill Rancic were filming there for their reality show, so there's the possibility that you'll get to see the action eventually. I did have to sign a release after they left, so apparently I'm in a few of the shots - We'll see...)

Finally, this blog was started on August 3:

Tonight I was able to go to the Wellness House to teach a class about antioxidants. We had a small lecture about what antioxidants are, and then we rolled out sweet dough to make fruit tarts. While the tart shells were baking, we played a matching game about what fruits paired with what antioxidants and then we all shared our answers. Following that, I had a little demo of how to build a fruit tart and then they all decorated their own tarts (and consumed them quickly) It was such a great night - and it was such a great experience to be able to work with these families who are facing such a hard event in their lives. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but it's interesting volunteering there because you go in there knowing that someone in this family - whether it be a dad, mom, grandparent, or one of the children - is battling cancer, they at least have this one night to be around people who are facing similar situations and be able to have that support... and simply have fun and enjoy themselves. It humbles me every time I'm there.

Along the same lines, I recently had an incredible pleasure to meet the Watters family who live in a nearby suburb of Chicago. The youngest member of the Watters family, Benny, is battling the same cancer that Sadie faced. He was diagnosed in January of 2009, and is clearly beating the odds with his battle. I found out about this family through my sister (who is part of a great support of families who have faced similar battles with DIPG) and I contacted them saying where I work and asked if they ever wanted to come and visit, it'd be great to do a fun pastry project together or something. Well, after some correspondence and arranging of schedules, we were able to meet up at the hotel. I took them on a little tour of the hotel (the rooftop garden, the bees and the pastry shop), then they decorated cupcakes in the pastry shop and snacked on some delicious snacks. All the while, I was able to get to know them better and instantly felt such love and respect for them. We are already planning another cupcake event soon at their home. Here are a few pictures:


Suffice to say, it's been a great summer. While it has gone fast, it has been memorable beyond anything I could've hoped for. Work is going well... now. There was a small chunk of time there where I was struggling with meeting the expectations of my boss, and quite honestly, of myself. But as all lessons in life, I was able to work through it and was able to learn from the negative experiences to become more productive, effective and successful.

Regarding the training for the marathon, it's going quite fantastic. I have a time goal of 4:20:00 and I feel really optimistic that I'm going to be able to do that. My long runs have reached up to 25 miles and I am able to run home from work (which is roughly 9 miles) feeling really good. The marathon is coming up here in a few weeks (October 10) - so it's finally becoming a reality that this is really happening soon. I mentioned in an earlier blog about my new goal of 50 marathons in 50 states before I turn 50... well, my boss at work found out about that and is dedicated to trying to help me achieve this goal ASAP. She'll be in her office and call me in, with a serious tone. I am concerned when I go in, thinking I messed something up unknowingly, but she hands me a printout of a marathon in a neighboring state and says I should run that one to knock that state out of the way. Its nice to have that support at work for personal goals... I feel very lucky often to be working where I am.

Scott is back from his summer program - things were a little rocky for him coming back to a very open schedule after his intense schooling and going right into a summer program that worked him 6 days a week with ridiculous hours. As I'm sure any of us would agree, too much free time is not a good thing and Scott instantly felt desire to work. Unfortunately, the job market is still awful in Chicago and he was having a hard time finding any work, despite his qualifications, schooling and persistence in applying for any (and every) job that he could imagine doing. Gratefully, his choir job with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra began recently and his choir job at church will begin shortly - in addition to another job he got recently. So all in all, things are working out well. He was able to make some incredible contacts during the summer in Princeton and I wouldn't be surprised if by early next year, his professional career is incredibly busy. I have no doubt in my mind he's going to be wildly successful - and I don't just say that because I'm his partner and am madly in love with him - he is the type of person that has that drive to make his dreams a reality and nothing is going to come in the way of that. His voice is gorgeous, he is gorgeous and it's only a matter of time before he's performing all over the world. (You heard it here first, people.) Seriously. He's incredible. So... for now, it's great to have him home. But I am excited for him to go out there and fulfill his passion... his auditions for various programs/companies are coming up quickly, so it'll be exciting to see what happens and where he'll be going next.

What else... On a personal level, I've been feeling more of a drive to get in touch with my spirituality and relationship with God. I had a neat experience with one of my best friends recently when we were out to dinner. We were talking religion and spirituality and I was explaining my frustration with religion and how I'm not able to get out of religion what I desire. One thing I loved about the LDS church that I miss is the fact that there was 2/3 of the services devoted to teaching of doctrine and principles of the church. I miss learning about spirituality. I miss learning doctrine. I miss pulling out scriptures and referencing articles and taking notes. (Am I the only one who did this?!?!) I miss that aspect of my spirituality and I don't feel I've gotten it from any church I've been to since. Let me be clear in saying that I don't miss the LDS church - really. But I do miss learning and getting something out of lessons/sermons/etc. I was explaining to my friend how fluffy the church Scott and I go to is - the sermons are 'feel-good' types of sermons with 'Love everyone' mingled with cultural references so the congregation can relate in a very modern way. I can't stand it. I attempted every time I was there to get something out of it and all I heard was ethical babble about doing good - which is fine for some people, but I expect more for myself. So I told him that where I go to church now, God is fluffy. He has rainbows and puppies and everyone is great no matter what. My friend is actually studying to become a priest in the Catholic church, but has a background in Judaism, Mormonism, and even Wicca, among others - so this man knows spirituality... which is one great reason we get along so well. He asked me questions about what I expect of my spirituality and if I think I can get it from religion... Well, unknown to us, the table next to us was eves dropping on our conversation and as they got up to leave, one of the men handed me a slip of paper and said 'I think you might need this book. Good luck.' I opened the slip of paper and it said the title of a book called The Discernment of Spirits (by Timothy M. Gallagher). I don't believe in coincidences and I certainly am open to anyone who might have a suggestion on what I can do to help my spirituality, so I took this as a kind sign from a kind stranger and I ordered the book. I'm currently in the process of reading it now - it's a heavy book (and I don't mean the weight) - but it's an interesting idea that you can discern what comes from God by your feelings. If you hear something and you feel peaceful and happy with what you hear, then it comes from God. If you feel doubt or questioning or have a hard time thinking, then it comes from another source that is not of God. This definitely sounds more simple than how it's presented in the book, and maybe it really is that simple at the root of it all, but I think it's going to be a great tool as I learn more about this discernment of spirits and as I discover my spirituality more.

At any rate, this novel must come to a close - I have coffee in the morning with a dear friend and I still have miles to go before I sleep. Until next time.

Now and Later

I discovered tonight that I actually enjoy running. Maybe it's because I've been doing a form of training for the past 3 weeks or so and perhaps it is finally something that my body responds incredibly positively to. Up until this point, running has been something that I do to stay in shape, avoid the diabetes that runs in the family, relieve some negative emotion, a way to discover neighborhoods, etc. - but I've never felt like I run because I love running - but alas, I now do. I am a runner. And along those same lines, I have gotten a keen itch that I want to continually have something to look forward to (in regard to fitness). I recently decided that I want to do a triathlon. I still do - but after reading books on it and researching what is needed for it, I have decided to postpone simply because of the lack of disposable income. If I, say, won the lottery and had an abundance of extra money floating around - Well, sure. I would get the essentials (and probably some non-essentials because I could.) But I will just wait for now and instead focus my workouts around running and cross-training - namely, introducing my legs to long distances and speed on the bike and also learning how to not flounder like a beached whale while I swim. It's a work in progress, but I've been devoting some quality time to it. My new goal in mind, however, is crazy and exciting. I have decided to run a marathon in every state by the time I'm 50. (50 before I'm 50 - get it?) I've always wanted to travel around - I don't care where, just discovering some place new that I've never been to. And what better way to discover a place than to devote 26.2 miles running around? I also decided that my 51st marathon will be the yearly marathon held in Athens, where the marathon came to be. Suffice to say I have my work cut out for me - but I'm looking forward to it. The Chicago Marathon this year is going to be held on October 10, 2010 (10-10-10) - so I'm pretty sure I will register for that little nugget and get this goal in action.

And great timing - I just finished a huge project at work, involving the creation, experimentation and execution of the new dessert menu for the restaurant at the Marriott and it. has. been. stressing. me. out. I have discovered throughout this process that I, in fact, am not a foodie. I don't necessarily crave foods or have specific comfort foods - in fact, when asked by my boss what my favorite dessert type comfort food it, I couldn't think of one. I still can't. I don't necessarily enjoy eating desserts - I usually eat a dessert because it's there in front of my face. I don't really go out of my way to make things for myself. I like to make things and pawn it off on people - I enjoy the creation aspect, I enjoy making the final product brilliant and I enjoy seeing people enjoy it. So - back to this menu - imagine me sitting down with a blank sheet of paper planning out 4-5 main desserts, 4 pies, 4-5 ice creams and a specialty drink, all with appropriate garnishes and plating presentations. *sigh* I felt like I was in school again and it seemed that I was putting more pressure on myself than I needed. The more I worked on it, the more I drew a blank. So I was given suggestions to help the creative flow. One, which I loved, was going through cookbooks, recipes and articles and picking out ones with interesting flavors. For instance, I saw an apple-oatmeal muffin that was flavored with maple syrup. So I wrote down 'Apple, Oatmeal, Maple' and thought about desserts that I'd enjoy that would include those ingredients. (The final product, by the way, is an Apple Oatmeal Stout Cake: The same idea as an upside down cake, with sauteed apples (in a maple sour cream sauce) on the bottom of an aluminum baking cup, then putting oatmeal cake batter (flavored with Guinness) on top. Bake that off, then when it comes out of the oven, turn it over on the plate (in all it's warm gooey gloriousness) and add house-made granola and a scoop of house-made maple ice cream.) So, while the entire process, in hindsight, was a great experience, I'm just exhausted from trying to get it all to work out and getting the menu up and running. Thanks to the incredible help the entire way from a co-worker, we were able to start the new menu today. No matter where you were, I'm sure you personally heard my sigh of relief this morning around 11:30 this morning when I finally set everything up and had finished the tasting with the restaurant staff. But like all things in life, you can never just stop and enjoy the moment - I got word today that we need to start thinking about the new menu for spring. Good times.

So - work is well. Health is well. And big news - I'm finally getting my ass back to Utah to see my family. It's funny how time has flown. I got caught up in work as soon as I got here and when I was able to have time off with the slow months at the beginning of the year, I couldn't afford to make it back there. God bless the tax return, because I booked my ticket and will be back in April. I imagine it'll be an emotional time, not only because it will have been roughly 9 months since I've seen them all last, but also because of our plans to run the Salt Lake 5K that weekend. The last time we did that, we were part of around 75 people, grouped together as Team Sadie, decked out in pink shirts (and facial hair in my brothers case) - Sadie was in a stroller, also decked out in Team Sadie apparel and pushed by T throughout the race. Two years later, we've decided to group up as a family and do this in remembrance and honor of Sadie - And I like to imagine that this year Sadie will be running along side us.

Anyway, I've had an exhausting day and need to take a breather away from the glow of a computer screen. In the words of a hymn, 'Happy day, all is well'.

(Did I really just reference a hymn? And of all the ones to reference, 'Come, Come Ye Saints?'. I'm keeping that line in because it's too random to delete.)

Until next time!