The past few months (also known as 'Summer') have come and gone incredibly quick. The only things I have to show for it are some great lessons learned from the school of hard knocks while I was at work, a sweet farmers tan from training for the Chicago Marathon while running outside and a couple of blog posts that were started and never saw the light of day. For the hard knocks lessons, you can visit my other blog here. As far as my farmers tan, I don't even want to look at it myself, let alone show you. But alas, the unfinished blog entries, I can definitely share. Here is one that I started on July 28th, which then moves in to a blog I started on June 25th:
I don't know where this summer has gone - I'm looking back on July alone and it is literally a blur. I suppose that is what happens when time is spent being incredibly involved in work (large parties, wedding cakes, wedding planning - and especially research for the new menu in my off time) along with training for the marathon in October, tennis every week - as well as a unexpected social life with new and old friends. It's been busier than I anticipated and I'm finding myself a little shocked that Scott just got home a few days ago.
The last paragraph was incredibly condensed. Let me elaborate somewhat... June held some incredibly emotional times. Namely, the 25th was the one year mark of Sadie's passing... which, I'm not going to lie, threw me into a funk. I started to write a blog about it, but never finished... here's what I did write.
(This is where the entry from June 25th picks up)
Today marks one year since my niece Sadie passed away... and while I am resisting the urge to talk about the memories and emotions that made me a hot mess today, I want to focus on something I realized today. The reason I am back here in Chicago, living my dream is because of Sadie's example. If it wasn't for her passion for living life to the fullest, I honestly don't think I'd have been proactive as I was to apply for the position I am currently in. It was a form of inspiration to reconnect with a contact (my boss, now) and the chance in a lifetime that my dream job opened up that next week. I pursued it with all my energy and intent... and I got it. I remember during the application process and the interviews, I thought of Sadie taking advantage of time to do the things she wanted to do, and that gave me the extra drive to make my dreams happen.
That is just one of many reasons that she inspired and influenced me then... and still does to this day - I know for a fact there are countless other people who share that sentiment.
It was actually a very special moment for me today to be able to have some time to sit and reflect on Sadie's short but fulfilling life. To aide in that process, I pulled out an audio copy of Sadie's funeral service that my sister gave me right before I moved back to Chicago. I listened to the music that was played and words spoken, and while tears were steadily flowing, I couldn't help but feel overjoyed. My sister and her husband did such an incredible job with the organization of the program, because it truly was a celebration of Sadie's life (and her love of it) while she was here. And I guess that's the positive message I've been trying to pull from today - Enjoying life while you have it and living it to the fullest. My sister did an amazing job in her talk, telling memories, playing clips of Sadie singing and laughing, telling about her favorite things, way and examples she showed her love.... truly special.
I thought of her all day today but I couldn't help but feel her with me when I was icing and decorating a wedding cake. That may sound strange, but knowing Sadie's love of baking (and her attention to detail and decoration), it was a special moment for me to do something I know she loved, especially on a day when she was constantly on my mind.
I realize this post is a bit all over the place, but I couldn't let the day go by without acknowledging Sadie and her memory today. I miss her so much and still look up to her and her example.
(The entry then picks back up when I wrote on July 28th)
My birthday was the next day an I ended up working a 13 hour shift - it was actually a unique experience because we had 2 wedding cakes to prepare and set-up, in addition to a celebrity event that was being held at the hotel. The event was called Rally for Kids which is an organization set up for kids with cancer. The idea behind the even was that the celebrities would be driving super expensive cars and do a scavenger hunt all over the city of Chicago. The scavenger hunt itself was not just picking up items, but doing tasks along the way - and our task at the hotel was to have the celebrities build a 2-layer cake in 12 minutes (including the icing, filling and decoration). The first task was that they needed to whip their whipping cream for the filling until it was stiff enough - and they got bonus points if they were brave enough to flip the bowl of whipped cream over and hold it over their heads for a couple of seconds. My personal task was to judge the whipped cream station for the bonus points and every single celebrity went for it. They all were able to do it, although one group flung the bowl over their head so fast that the bowl flew out of their hands. It landed on the floor and shot the whipped cream all over the front of my pants and the floor around me - luckily enough stayed in the bowl so that the lady could still fill her cake.
All in all, it was a fun event to be a part of - and the cakes the celebrities made generally looked awful.
(I wish I had pictures of that event - but since most of the celebrities were... well, celebrities - it would've looked tacky on a personal level and bad, as an employee of Marriott, to snap a few pictures. Rest assured, it was hilarious. E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi and Apprentice winner Bill Rancic were filming there for their reality show, so there's the possibility that you'll get to see the action eventually. I did have to sign a release after they left, so apparently I'm in a few of the shots - We'll see...)
Finally, this blog was started on August 3:
Tonight I was able to go to the Wellness House to teach a class about antioxidants. We had a small lecture about what antioxidants are, and then we rolled out sweet dough to make fruit tarts. While the tart shells were baking, we played a matching game about what fruits paired with what antioxidants and then we all shared our answers. Following that, I had a little demo of how to build a fruit tart and then they all decorated their own tarts (and consumed them quickly) It was such a great night - and it was such a great experience to be able to work with these families who are facing such a hard event in their lives. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but it's interesting volunteering there because you go in there knowing that someone in this family - whether it be a dad, mom, grandparent, or one of the children - is battling cancer, they at least have this one night to be around people who are facing similar situations and be able to have that support... and simply have fun and enjoy themselves. It humbles me every time I'm there.
Along the same lines, I recently had an incredible pleasure to meet the Watters family who live in a nearby suburb of Chicago. The youngest member of the Watters family, Benny, is battling the same cancer that Sadie faced. He was diagnosed in January of 2009, and is clearly beating the odds with his battle. I found out about this family through my sister (who is part of a great support of families who have faced similar battles with DIPG) and I contacted them saying where I work and asked if they ever wanted to come and visit, it'd be great to do a fun pastry project together or something. Well, after some correspondence and arranging of schedules, we were able to meet up at the hotel. I took them on a little tour of the hotel (the rooftop garden, the bees and the pastry shop), then they decorated cupcakes in the pastry shop and snacked on some delicious snacks. All the while, I was able to get to know them better and instantly felt such love and respect for them. We are already planning another cupcake event soon at their home. Here are a few pictures:
Suffice to say, it's been a great summer. While it has gone fast, it has been memorable beyond anything I could've hoped for. Work is going well... now. There was a small chunk of time there where I was struggling with meeting the expectations of my boss, and quite honestly, of myself. But as all lessons in life, I was able to work through it and was able to learn from the negative experiences to become more productive, effective and successful.
Regarding the training for the marathon, it's going quite fantastic. I have a time goal of 4:20:00 and I feel really optimistic that I'm going to be able to do that. My long runs have reached up to 25 miles and I am able to run home from work (which is roughly 9 miles) feeling really good. The marathon is coming up here in a few weeks (October 10) - so it's finally becoming a reality that this is really happening soon. I mentioned in an earlier blog about my new goal of 50 marathons in 50 states before I turn 50... well, my boss at work found out about that and is dedicated to trying to help me achieve this goal ASAP. She'll be in her office and call me in, with a serious tone. I am concerned when I go in, thinking I messed something up unknowingly, but she hands me a printout of a marathon in a neighboring state and says I should run that one to knock that state out of the way. Its nice to have that support at work for personal goals... I feel very lucky often to be working where I am.
Scott is back from his summer program - things were a little rocky for him coming back to a very open schedule after his intense schooling and going right into a summer program that worked him 6 days a week with ridiculous hours. As I'm sure any of us would agree, too much free time is not a good thing and Scott instantly felt desire to work. Unfortunately, the job market is still awful in Chicago and he was having a hard time finding any work, despite his qualifications, schooling and persistence in applying for any (and every) job that he could imagine doing. Gratefully, his choir job with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra began recently and his choir job at church will begin shortly - in addition to another job he got recently. So all in all, things are working out well. He was able to make some incredible contacts during the summer in Princeton and I wouldn't be surprised if by early next year, his professional career is incredibly busy. I have no doubt in my mind he's going to be wildly successful - and I don't just say that because I'm his partner and am madly in love with him - he is the type of person that has that drive to make his dreams a reality and nothing is going to come in the way of that. His voice is gorgeous, he is gorgeous and it's only a matter of time before he's performing all over the world. (You heard it here first, people.) Seriously. He's incredible. So... for now, it's great to have him home. But I am excited for him to go out there and fulfill his passion... his auditions for various programs/companies are coming up quickly, so it'll be exciting to see what happens and where he'll be going next.
What else... On a personal level, I've been feeling more of a drive to get in touch with my spirituality and relationship with God. I had a neat experience with one of my best friends recently when we were out to dinner. We were talking religion and spirituality and I was explaining my frustration with religion and how I'm not able to get out of religion what I desire. One thing I loved about the LDS church that I miss is the fact that there was 2/3 of the services devoted to teaching of doctrine and principles of the church. I miss learning about spirituality. I miss learning doctrine. I miss pulling out scriptures and referencing articles and taking notes. (Am I the only one who did this?!?!) I miss that aspect of my spirituality and I don't feel I've gotten it from any church I've been to since. Let me be clear in saying that I don't miss the LDS church - really. But I do miss learning and getting something out of lessons/sermons/etc. I was explaining to my friend how fluffy the church Scott and I go to is - the sermons are 'feel-good' types of sermons with 'Love everyone' mingled with cultural references so the congregation can relate in a very modern way. I can't stand it. I attempted every time I was there to get something out of it and all I heard was ethical babble about doing good - which is fine for some people, but I expect more for myself. So I told him that where I go to church now, God is fluffy. He has rainbows and puppies and everyone is great no matter what. My friend is actually studying to become a priest in the Catholic church, but has a background in Judaism, Mormonism, and even Wicca, among others - so this man knows spirituality... which is one great reason we get along so well. He asked me questions about what I expect of my spirituality and if I think I can get it from religion... Well, unknown to us, the table next to us was eves dropping on our conversation and as they got up to leave, one of the men handed me a slip of paper and said 'I think you might need this book. Good luck.' I opened the slip of paper and it said the title of a book called The Discernment of Spirits (by Timothy M. Gallagher). 
I don't believe in coincidences and I certainly am open to anyone who might have a suggestion on what I can do to help my spirituality, so I took this as a kind sign from a kind stranger and I ordered the book. I'm currently in the process of reading it now - it's a heavy book (and I don't mean the weight) - but it's an interesting idea that you can discern what comes from God by your feelings. If you hear something and you feel peaceful and happy with what you hear, then it comes from God. If you feel doubt or questioning or have a hard time thinking, then it comes from another source that is not of God. This definitely sounds more simple than how it's presented in the book, and maybe it really is that simple at the root of it all, but I think it's going to be a great tool as I learn more about this discernment of spirits and as I discover my spirituality more.
At any rate, this novel must come to a close - I have coffee in the morning with a dear friend and I still have miles to go before I sleep. Until next time.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Summer 2010
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Resolutions/Thanksgiving
As many of you know, my birthday this past year was an emotional one. I had moved back to Utah for a few months to be with my family while my niece fought a incredibly brave battle with cancer - she passed away the day before my 26th birthday. I don't remember much about my birthday except that I was numb and didn't really do much of anything - at least that's what I thought. Today I came across a list of my new year's resolutions - See, I decided (with the wise advice from a close friend) that resolutions should start on your birthday and be your goals and plans for your new year. I don't remember making a list, but I did - and it goes as follows:
- Commit time to getting in touch with myself spiritually
- Learn more about Jesus Christ - hopefully develop faith in Him
- Learn major chords on the guitar
- Commit myself to writing more poetry
- Find a stable career in Chicago that I love, has great benefits for Scott and myself.
- Get a new tattoo (in remembrance of Sadie)
- Read a new book every month
- Learn to love exercising (especially building muscle - not just doing cardio all the time)
And regarding spirituality, I'm sure it goes without saying that it is something that is definitely not a destination, but a journey - and I'm in the process. I've mentioned this in previous blogs, but because of Sadie, I have started a very serious journey of faith centered around Jesus Christ. I've been spending quite a bit of time reading, praying, relying on my feelings and intuition about what feels right - and as a result I do have faith in Jesus Christ. It may be small at this point, but it is there - and I'm curious to see where this road takes me in the future.
So while my new years resolution may have been written and forgotten about for a while, it's been interesting to look at it now and assess what I've been able to do and what now needs to be taken care of to make my life a little bit better. (And I partly posted it on here to make it more concrete in my mind that those things need to get taken care of.)
In other news, Thanksgiving was great. Scott and were able to take a few days off and head up to Des Moines to spend time with his family - and what a family they are. I've been told by nearly each one of them on separate occasions that I am part of the family. They make me feel completely welcome and I never feel like Scott and I being in a relationship is ever an issue. In fact, the reason I find it so amazing to be around them is that it's not an issue at all. I don't know if that makes sense at all, but it is what it is. We were able to relax, go shopping some, eat a lot, and put up some Christmas decorations. (And it was nice for me to have 3 days off in a row after the schedule I've had recently) We spent the majority of the time at his mom's house and spent the last afternoon at his dad's house, leaving back to Chicago soon after. It was great to spend some time with them and it'll be nice to head back here in a few weeks for Christmas.
And speaking of Christmas, Scott and I have officially decorated for the holidays. It took some rearranging and a good chunk of time, but we have our tree up and all the holiday decorations out. Here is a little picture of what it all looks like:
Today was filled with decorating, listening to classic Christmas music (which has to include the Carpenters, in my opinion) and spending some much needed quality time with Scott. All in all, a wonderful day off.
I also wanted to post a picture or two of the gingerbread castle that almost killed me.
This picture doesn't do much justice - it has over 1000 pounds of gingerbread on it. It's probably about 12 feet wide and roughly 9 feet high, all the windows are sugar (poured by hand), a train runs through the entire thing, and on the left side there is a giant teapot that pours chocolate into a big teacup. It took about 12 of us and 6 weeks to finish the entire thing (and do all of our regular responsibilities on top of it). Good times had by all.
Anyway, hope your holidays are off to a great start. I'll be in touch again soon.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Back home.
It's been nearly a week since I moved back to Chicago. I'm a little surprised how easily it was for me to be adjusted to living back in Chicago and getting accustomed to life here. It feels natural to wake up next to Scott, to have a whiny cat meowing at me for no reason, to walk to the train station to head downtown, to run along the trails near Lake Shore Boulevard and to bake random things in my kitchen. This truly feels like home. That being said, I find myself missing aspects of Utah - mainly things I did frequently, like random visits at family members houses, spending quality time with family and friends - but since I took advantage of those things while I was in Utah, I don't feel I missed out in any way. I have nothing but great memories to look back on - bittersweet in many aspects, but definitely great.
In regard to work, I had to take a drug test on Wednesday (I passed), had orientation on Friday, then started work on Saturday. I feel like it will take some getting used to - but that is the case with any job. I know how to do many of the tasks required of me, but knowing how it's supposed to be done specifically at the Marriott is the tricky thing. I'm sure I'll get the hang of things soon and am really excited to get to that point where I can work an entire day without asking what is expected of me or if there is something else I should be doing. Luckily, the crew I work with is incredibly helpful and so easy to get along with. I can tell there is a strong sense of trust and unity among them, which makes it all the more exciting to be involved in that type of environment. Overall though, I love it already. I imagine things will continue to get better as the days progress.
All in all, being back in Chicago is going very well. It is hard to be away from family and close friends, but knowing that I have their support - and given the fact that we all have phones, texting, e-mailing, etc. makes the distance seem, well... not so distant. I do find, however, that at random moments I miss Sadie terribly. Today Scott was playing Mika while he was making dinner and the song Any Other World came on. Unknown to nearly anyone, I played that song repeatedly before and after Sadie's passing - and haven't played it since. Hearing it today brought back the raw emotion and I wasn't ready for it. I feel bad in some aspect because Scott knew something was wrong, but I couldn't really express how it felt then and how it feels now. I feel like I'm walking around with a large wound that is healing incredibly slow and from time to time something hits me that makes me start to bleed again. And I find there's nothing I can do but let it bleed until it stops - and then I'll continue on.
With that in mind, and given the experience I had while in Utah, I really want to become actively involved with helping organizations associated with childhood cancers - I still need to do research to what type of organizations are out here in Chicago. When I look back on all the support, love and selflessness from the community during Sadie's battle, it makes me want to help in any way I can for other families facing similar situations.
All in all, I have very high expectations of myself here in Chicago - just because I was able to obtain my dream job doesn't mean the dreaming and reaching for goals will ever stop. I expect some great things to happen...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Moving back.
After weeks of interviewing, stressing, praying, thinking positively and attempting to distract myself, I found out last Friday afternoon that I got the pastry position at the Marriott in downtown Chicago. It is quite literally a dream come true.
Honestly, I felt very positively about the whole experience to the point that I initially gave Harmon's my notice without knowing for sure if I got the position at the Marriott. I don't know if you've read 'The Secret' or know much about the law of attraction, but I feel like I was thinking along those lines the entire time. At any rate, my last day was supposed to be last Saturday - but given the fact that I found out for sure that I got the position on Friday, I asked if I could stay at Harmon's another week. Gratefully, they obliged. Little did I know that this week would entail continual drama with scheduling, lack of proper management in the bakery, associates calling in sick, etc. to the point that I will be working everyday until my last day. Quite the way to spend my last week in Utah.
Today I finally buckled down to get things ready for the move. I've been packing things in boxes, making mix C.D.'s for the road trip, canceling memberships here in Utah and getting my car checked. I would like to see more of my family and friends, but it seems like life is going on as normal - busy, hectic lives. Me included. As much as I would love to see certain people, I'm almost sure it isn't going to happen. It is unfortunate because I don't really know at this point when I'll be back to Utah to visit. I know the holidays are incredibly busy for the hotel I'll be working for, which means being back here will more than likely be out of the question.
I imagine that I'll be back around this time again next year. For those of you who don't know, my dad passed away on August 1, 1987. Since then, our family has made it a point to be together on that day every year after - initially going to the grave site together and reminiscing. But as time has progressed and our lives become more involved with personal families, work and commitments, we tend to try to set that say aside to simply be together as a family. Such was the case this year. My mom, my siblings (and their families) and I got together at my sister Heather's house for a barbecue. We ended up talking, playing PIG (basketball), hanging out, catching up, looking at old pictures and simply spending quality time with each other. I think this year was definitely more emotional and impacted us more because of Sadie's recent passing - but I think that, in part, made the day (and our being together) more special. With that in mind, I imagine the tradition will continue and I will be in Utah on the first of August from here on out. So while Utah hasn't seen the last of me, it will more than likely be a while before I'm back.
I won't lie - moving back is bittersweet. Definitely very sweet to be with Scott, in my apartment, working at my dream job (... can't get much better than that actually...) but at the same time, the experiences I've had and the time I've spent here have deeply influenced me. Definitely things I can apply to my life in Chicago, but I suppose all aspects of life worth living for involve some sort of challenge. In this case, leaving my family after a time that brought us closer and our relationships deeper than I ever imagined, leaving friends who truly went beyond any definition of friendship I could've envisioned, and once again, leaving comfort and familiarity to try something new and challenging. At the same time, the support that I've received from my family and friends, while bittersweet for them as well, has given me a great deal of strength to not only pursue my dream but obtain it and become successful with it.
I'm excited to see where this road takes me...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Going home.
I'm going to be flying back to Chicago tomorrow for an extended weekend in honor of Scott's 25th birthday... I should be asleep considering the day I've had, but I am too excited. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that it feels like being a kid on Christmas Eve with the anticipation of what the next day is going to bring. Scott and I have been talking everyday since I moved back to Utah and while I still feel he knows everything about what's going on in my life than anyone else, I can't wait to be able to spend these few days being face to face with him. We won't need to say much of anything because we don't need to catch up at all - just being together will be enough.
This little vacation back home to Chicago couldn't have come at a more perfect time - work, while such a tremendous blessing to have, is literally wearing me thin. Since I started working with Harmon's, I've been averaging about 55+ (very physical) hours a week. This week would've been even more intense considering I only worked three days and clocked out today with almost 38 hours. There is just always something more that needs to be done... once I think I have things pretty well under control, I find that there are a least a few other things that need taken care of. And because I have the experience to do those things, they tend to fall directly on my shoulders. There, my friends, lies the blessing and curse of going above mediocrity on a daily basis.
And that is the surface.
Underneath the exterior, work has been a incredibly wonderful distraction from being away from Scott and to not get my mind distracted how Sadie is doing. I won't lie, I worry. A lot. My mom somehow instilled that in me and I haven't been able to shake it. So I've found that working as much as I have has not only given me more financial security (which means less stress in one area of my life. Woot.) but forces me to prioritize my time and energy effectively to avoid those lulls in my life where I sit dormant. When I work this much, I tend to take advantage of the time I have free to spend time with my family or to be at the gym or take care of those odds and ends that get left behind.
I think today was the final drop that made the glass overflow - my fatigue caught up with me. It's the type of feeling where you want to go home, spend an evening on the couch watching a movie with your love. And that is exactly what I intend on doing. (Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get a massage or something.)
I realized recently that I tend to be incredibly personal on this blog. If you're reading this, I hope you don't mind that I am. But truth be told, I never write with the intention that anyone will ever read it (except myself when I'm feeling reflective) - so I'm always somewhat taken aback when someone asks me about something I wrote in this blog. I don't know - there's a sense of freedom in expressing words to the world that you never know someone may hear.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A little story
It's time for a little story. It's a stunning tale about a young man who had recently moved to a big city with the person he loves beyond words. Times were difficult, but somehow they made it work and life was surprisingly happy through it all. One day, the young man felt a strong desire to go back to the land from which he came from - and he wasn't sure why. So pushing feelings aside, he continued to work whenever he could and lived life the best he knew how. Not too far after, he had a feeling to return to the land from which he came from again. He, being a person who relied heavily on what he felt in his heart, recognized the feeling again and took it more seriously. Despite his recent move to a big city with the person he loved so much, he made preparations to move back to the land where he came from - not knowing exactly why, but feeling strongly that it was right.
Is it an interesting story? I'm trying to see if the situation I'm currently facing makes more sense when I look at it in this light. The story I just explained is something I've been facing over the last month or so. But let me tell you a little bit more.
Truth be told, times are hard. Work at the hotel is sporadic and I've been filling my time with cleaning the apartment, running, reading and baking. Scott has been busy with school and aside from this past weekend where we had the pleasure of entertaining guests at our home, we rarely see each other outside of the evenings when he comes home from school. So when the initial idea of heading home came to my mind, I felt it was more of an escapist idea. It seemed too convenient to go back to Utah where I was making more money, where I was completely comfortable with life, and where I was around family (especially given the time frame with Sadie and her battle with cancer) - so I pushed it out of my mind. Why? Because I feel at home here in Chicago. Scott and I have started our lives from scratch here and while it is difficult, I'm happy with where we are and how we've grown just in the few months we've been here. It's really something quite beautiful and I didn't feel any quick desire to abandon that. So I pushed the feelings to go back to Utah aside. It didn't seem logical.
With my time off of work, I've been trying to develop myself spiritually. I've felt that it is something that I've been lacking lately, so I had been researching and studying scripture, meditating and praying, trying to develop a greater relationship with God, trying to understand chakras further, trying to be more in tune to my higher self, and I've even been reading quite a bit on animal guides and Shamanism. So with that in mind, when the feeling to go back to Utah came again a few weeks later, I listened to it more thoroughly. I began to think about stories in the Bible where God was calling various people and how they either listened right away or if it took a few different calls for them to take notice. I wondered if this could be similar. It posed the question - If God called on me would I recognize it? Truth be told, it scared me to think of heading back to Utah. When I sat down and really thought about it, I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave Scott behind with the life we had created here in Chicago.
So I called a dear friend who I relate to in many different ways - one of which is spiritually. She asked me questions trying to dive further into what the reasoning might be for going back to Utah, offered suggestions, words of encouragement and told me to meditate about it. So I did and felt very strongly that it is something I should do. I think the most interesting thing about all this is how incredibly understanding everyone had been about this. Scott is completely supportive (despite the fact that I don't know how long I'll be there) and is planning on helping me drive across the country back to Utah. My brother and his beautiful wife and family have offered a place for me to stay while I'm there and my work here in Chicago expressed their support for me to do what I need to do and guarantees me a job there again when I return. I think the fact that the support for me in this execution of the moving back to Utah is a sign in itself that it's what I should be doing.
So despite that plans are set to go (I should be back in Utah by March 16), I still feel a deep pit in my stomach at the thought of leaving Scott for an extended period of time. It's been such a great experience to be in a city on our own and to grow together. I really feel that our relationship has been strengthened tremendously by our choice to move here to Chicago and the idea of leaving, even for just a little while, is so hard to think about. So while I realize that we still have two weeks together before I leave, I've found that little kisses when he gets home or sleeping next to him at night mean so much more.
Also, those who know me and my family well may realize that yesterday was the year mark of Sadie's diagnosis - I strongly urge you to check out the entry my sister did on Sadie's blog (link on the side). Her strength is so amazing that it brings me to tears. As for me and my words, I have nothing profound to say. I only know that seeing my niece defy odds and to see her live her life with purpose despite her struggles gives me such strength and faith. Not only her, but to see my sister, someone whom I have always looked up to in so many different ways, battle this situation with such courage, strength and love is inspiring. They have taught me to live life more fully and to not take any moment, no matter how large or small, for granted.
So, that is my story for now. A work in progress, if you will...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Funny how time flies...
The title to this blog is in respect to Janet (Miss Jackson, if your nasty) who recently kicked off her 'Rock Witchu Tour' (yes, I spelled that correctly). She is only playing at limited venues this tour and Chicago is one of the stops. *sigh* If only I had the time and money. But, to give you all a little taste...
Yes, her hair is in a mohawk. And yes, these are the 3 singles (Young Love, Say You Do, Don't Stand Another Chance) off of her first two albums (Janet Jackson, Dream Street)... People hardly know those albums exist because they did fairly poor on the charts and it was before she released Control - the album that really launched her career. Anyway, she has never done these songs on a tour... I died when I saw that she was performing them. Thank God for youtube - it makes it easier to swallow that I won't be going to the concert myself. (Can you tell I love me some Janet?! You all got trivia you never knew you wanted!!)
Anyway, time for an update. I am currently in a transition with my career here in Chicago. After failing to get the hours I needed at Zed451, I went on the hunt for other positions (either full-time or part-time, to make ends meet) I got a call back for a pastry cook position at the Westin Hotel at O'Hare and after staging for them, I was offered the full-time position.
(Side note: In my line of work, the interview process is in two parts. The first is the actual interview that you and I are all used to - with the same lame questions that you get asked in every other interview. The second part is called staging, where the candidate spends about 4 hours in the kitchen with everyone else... basically proving themselves in skill and seeing if they mesh well with everyone else. It's actually a great process because it gives both parties time to feel each other out and see if it feels right.)
Anyway, the stage went well and I felt very comfortable there. Plus, I was offered a bit more money and benefits (for me and Scott - hotels rock with benefits for gay and lesbian couples) so needless to say I jumped at the chance. I gave my notice at Zed last week, so I'm finishing out my final week. I can honestly say that even though the experience was fine there and I did learn a lot, I don't think I'll ever work in a restaurant again. It's just not for me.
My new position at the Westin starts on September 22. Beside the fact that the shift begins at 5:00 a.m., I'm really looking forward to it!
But wait. There's more...
Both Scott and I applied at the Marriott Downtown (on Michigan Avenue) - him for a reservations agent part-time and me for a pastry position. Scott got a call for an interview and during that process, Scott mentioned that I applied as well. The guy giving the interview gave Scott the name and number of the Executive Pastry Chef for the hotel and told me to call to ask about my resume. So I did - and it turns out that the position has already been filled. But the pastry chef was incredibly nice and offered to have me come in and tour the property and meet people. So I went in and met her and she gave me a fantastic tour of the hotel and introduced me to people, had me sample products, and sat down to talk with me. It was totally unexpected for me, but I figured it's great to have connections and the pastry chef was so great the entire time. So she said to keep in touch and said I was welcome to swing by to hang out and help out if I ever wanted to. I'm always down for learning new things and getting more experience, so I promised her I would keep in touch. I e-mailed her and thanked her for being so amazing and told her that I'd be keeping in touch. Well, I got an e-mail back asking me if I would be interested in working part-time and if I'd consider coming in to stage. I was so excited and set something up for the next week.
Long story short, I rocked the stage, got along with the bakery really well, and she offered me a part-time position there. I'll probably be starting that in the next few weeks... I'm thinking of working there about 8-10 hours a week.
Things just seem to be falling into place... It's a great feeling.
Also, I've been spending my days off getting to know the city a little bit better. I decided every week, I am going to go somewhere or do something that is unique to the city - just to expand my horizons a bit. This past week I went to an art exhibit at the Chicago Cultural Center where they were displaying art from inmates (who were or are being held in various Illinois prisons.) It was so moving. Many of the pieces had descriptions of what the inmates made and what it meant to them - and although many of the pieces were stunning and looked near professional, there were some pieces that came from maximum security prisons. I guess at certain prisons, art supplies aren't allowed, so inmates improvised by drawing on the backs of envelopes and folders and using ink from pens and colors from food dye (like M&M's) to create stunning images. Others made miniature sculptures from wrappers of candy bars or paper mache from old papers. It was so amazing to see these works of art from people who have little to no contact with the outside world who rely on art as a form of peace, therapy and contentment. It was very moving...
And if it couldn't get better than that, one level up, there was an entire floor that was carrying an exhibit of art work inspired by Marilyn Monroe. It was such an eclectic display of art and photographs... the classics from Bert Stern and Andy Warhol to movie stills and dramatic displays. I loved it so much...
I must say I'm a fan of the Chicago Cultural Center...
To end this blog, I must give all of y'all another taste of my girl. These ones I know you'll recognize...
(P.S. Thanks to those of you who responded to my last post regarding your favorite books - They are definitely on my 'to-read' list.)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Reflection and Rand
I was making dinner tonight and I realized that I needed some things at the market down the street - so I walked there and picked up what I needed and started on my way home. Then something in side my mind just clicked on and said "You live in Chicago." You know how you make choices in life, but it doesn't really click until later? I just find it interesting that if I had never met Scott, I would never be experiencing this. 5 years ago, Chicago was simply one of many major cities in the U.S. that I had never been to... and now, I live here. It made me smile to think about and I'm proud of myself (and Scott) that we have made the choice to be here. Sure there have been some struggles getting started - but I really feel some good things are going to happen soon.
In other news, I have been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand while riding the train to and from work. I love Ayn Rand's style. I read Anthem and nearly cried - and I am very much into this book as well. I am the type of person who reads books and underlines poignant phrases or sentences that stick out to me. Blame it on the fact that I was once a missionary who highlighted his scriptures heavily whenever I felt prompted to (which resulted in a very colorful set of scriptures) but here are some of the lines of Atlas Shrugged that has stuck out to me recently.
"He decided that pain was not a valid reason for stopping"
"Words were a lens to focus one's mind..."
"If joy is the aim and the core of existence, she thought, as if that which has the power to give one joy is always guarded as one's deepest secret, then they had seen each other naked in that moment."
"'Francisco, what's the most depraved type of human being?'
'The man without purpose.'"
"No matter how good you are, I'll expect you to wring everything you've got, trying to be still better. and when you've work yourself out to reach a goal, I'll expect you to start for another"
*Sigh* Now that I have time in between home and work, I've rediscovered my love for reading.That being said, once I'm done with Atlas Shrugged (which may take a little bit, being it is 1069 pages...) I'd like to read some of your favorites. So, please, leave a comment for me with your favorite books of all time and why you like them so much.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Too tired for a title...
This entry will be short - simply because I'm beyond tired, but I wanted to let everyone who reads this know that Scott and I are officially residents of Chicago, IL. The apartment we found is beautiful and perfect for all of our needs... and we will officially be moving in on Friday (Aug. 1). For specific details, you need to go over to Scott's blog. He has such a way with words that I can't help but laugh out loud and be enthralled by his stories, even though I was experiencing them with him at the time. So, for now, check that out - and I will be back later with more details of my own.
