Summer 2011

I was just taking a break with studying, it's rainy and humid outside, and Scott is painting (and therefore, doesn't want to be distracted), so it seems the most ideal time to check in and update on what's new.

First of all, I am writing this post on a new laptop. It's so strange to have this after the years and years of having the bulky, outdated computer. Having something small, light and incredibly fast is definitely not something I'm used to. But it's been amazing to have with the fall semester for school starting.

(Isn't she lovely?)

Speaking of which, I am taking two classes this semester - Intermediate Algebra with Geometry and Psychology. 8 credit hours total and it's been keeping me fairly busy. It's a different change of pace from the summer semester - during the summer, everything was so condensed. I mentioned that both of my courses during the summer were both online - and while it was great for convenience sake with my work schedule, I found that I was working on an assignment everyday. Weekends weren't sacred - in fact, the few times that the classes "met" online in a chat forum setting, it was on a Sunday evening. I feel, however, it was a great way to get back into the school setting and focus myself better. I always felt like I could be doing something to improve an assignment or that I should be reading something and as a result, this fall semester I've become fairly strict with myself in setting time aside for studying and homework. By the way, I received an A in both the English and Humanities class - so, I feel I'm off to a good start (and have the same expectation for the rest of my classes as well.) Math has never been my strong point - in fact, for as long as I can remember, it has been the weakest of subjects and I've had a sense of anxiety whenever I had a class or had to do math in front of anyone. To be honest though, I'm over it. I've decided to make my weakness a strength, and I've committed myself to understanding it and, God willing, actually enjoy it. Surprisingly, despite pangs of anxiety that still seem to come from time to time, I'm doing well and enjoying it.

Work is going well - nothing terribly new to report. The night shift doesn't differ much in terms of new product. It usually seems to be the case that we are either terribly busy and I am running around all night praying I can get everything done before the different departments come to pick up their product or it's an average day and I'm able to help out some with the day crew's projects. Such was the case last week and I was able to do my regular work and then do odds and ends for the day crew to help them out, like make batches of cookies, candy walnuts and pecans, make rice pudding, make fillings and icings for cakes and things of that nature. As simple as those projects sound, it's nice from time to time to do those types of things to keep those types of projects fresh and to break up the standard day to day business. I, unfortunately, haven't had enough free time to devote to trying new products and testing new recipes, but that time will definitely come in the coming months - the fall is terribly busy and then it gets all "feast or famine" during the late fall/winter months. Lucky for me and the girl I work with at night, our tasks are consistent and essential and we'll always have hours to work - compared to the day crew where they could be working 50+ hour weeks and then turn around and have a 3 day work week because business is slow. The more I think about the permanent switch I made to do the night shift, the more I realize that I made the right choice - for sanity and otherwise.

These past few months have been very busy with work, school, moving, Scott getting back from New York, training for the next marathon, visiting Scott's family, people visiting and staying at our place - It felt like a whirlwind - and in the midst of it all, I got news that my opa had fallen and that he was in the hospital. Through the busy days, I got updates from my mom and siblings about his condition and any and all news. It seemed, despite his age and his condition, he was actually beating the odds and doing well. Not surprising, to be honest, the man is a fighter and has always beaten the odds. And then, I got news that he had passed away. I couldn't really believe it - the news was almost numbing.

Thanks to my mom, I was able to fly back to Utah for a few days for the services. I flew in Sunday afternoon and my brother and his family picked me up and we drove straight down to Mt. Pleasant to the viewing. The drive was a good hour and 1/2 - which was really nice to be with Jason, Dani and the boys. Very few people in my life know me like they do and their humor and personalities match mine exactly - so the drive down and back were hilarious and wonderful despite the circumstances. It was pretty amazing that every member of my extended family was there - and being one of 32 cousins (not including spouses/partners, kids, etc.), we are a large bunch. The funeral was the next day, emotions were high - especially seeing my oma saying her last goodbye to her husband of almost 55 years - but the service itself was a tremendously wonderful tribute. There was beautiful music, all of the aunts and uncles told little stories about him, my mom gave a wonderful history of his life along with more stories that I had never heard of before. It was definitely emotional, but it certainly felt like a celebration of a wonderful life and for that, it felt very bittersweet. After the service, I was able to spend some time with my siblings and mom before we headed back to the Salt Lake area. I spent the night at dinner with my mom, Bob, Jason, Dani and their boys reminiscing about Opa's life and general catching up. Then, that night, my mom and I talked a bit more about my opa and oma and the events leading up to his passing and what had happened after - and it was strange because I didn't feel like his death had really hit me until that point.

(At the cemetery - I realized at this point that I didn't get a picture of his casket which was designed and built by my uncle, Chris - pictures don't do it justice. It was beautiful workmanship)

(The Klunker Family - Oma, Mom, aunts and uncles at the cemetery)

*Picture taken from Mike's facebook page - it was such a good picture I had to share it

(At the reception after - Mom, Shiloh, Heather... and Jason, acting like a bug buzzing around Heather's head while wearing my sunglasses...)

(Shiloh - in all her adorable glory)

(Me with my aunts Stacy and Jann - although from my dad's side of the family, they came to the services. I realized that I didn't have a picture of them since my farewell back in 2002, so I took advantage of the opportunity, in spite of Stacy's protest)

My mom went upstairs to go to bed and I was by myself in her guest room for the first time in weeks - no assignments to finish, no people to entertain at home, Scott wasn't there to talk to - and so I was able to lay there and really think. I looked back on my relationship with Opa and realized that he and Oma had always been supportive of me in every decision I ha ever made. Opa was at my high school graduation, he was supportive and proud when I chose to go on an LDS mission, he was always happy whenever I talked about culinary school and being a pastry chef and most recently, he and my oma always told me they loved me and that my partner and I were welcome in their home. Furthermore, whenever I talked with Opa, I always felt important. He always had a way of adding humor, sincerity and love to everything he did and I realized that he was one of the few people in my love who had been completely unconditional. After I had realized all of this, I was a hot mess. The grieving process is funny that way - I had received the news, been to the viewing and the funeral service and it wasn't until after all that, that it really sunk in.

The next day, was emotional because I had to leave back to Chicago. I felt raw from this entire realization and then I had to leave family again. Mom, Jason and I grabbed a quick bite to eat and then they dropped me off at the airport and then I was back to reality... *sigh* All in all, it was an incredibly quick trip - I believe it was only about 48 hours total that I was back in Utah - but it was nice to be able to be with family. I remember being on my mission and getting news that my grandma had passed away after her tough battle with cancer and not being able to be with family or attend any of the services. Quite simply, it was an awful experience. In fact, I'm surprised I even brought that up because I still can hardly look back on that moment in my life without having a pit in my stomach. Being with family, even for a short time, was not only where I wanted to be, but where I needed to be. There is nothing better than laughing together, crying together, sharing memories together and when everything has been said, simply being together in the same room without saying anything at all is enough.

(At the airport with Mom and Jason - I love the photobomb from the luggage crew in the background)

When I got back to Chicago, I heard this song by Jennifer Hudson called 'Still Here'. I've had it on my MP3 player for a while, but I never really listened to the words - but when I was on one of my runs, the track came on and the words hit me deep and I couldn't help but remember Opa and the great man he was and the wonderful way he always made me feel.

Here is that song:

In fact, it has been one month since he passed away - I didn't realize it until I saw a few posts from a few of my aunts on facebook. It's crazy how time flies...

Anyway, it is definitely time for more homework - I have a decent list to take care of before my weekend is over. Hope to keep in touch again soon - Until next time!

I'll be back soon...

Hey guys - just a quick note to let you know that I'll be updating soon. My computer crashed near the beginning of July - which was around the time I had mid-terms, Scott coming home from New York and crazy days at work. Needless to say, it's been a busy summer and not having a computer of my own has caused me to somewhat drop off the face of the internet world. I'll be getting a new computer this week (just in time for the fall semester to start next week) and I'll update then. Lordy, I have things to say... Until then~

Home, Goals, Marathoning, School, Questioning Humanity?!

I realize my posts are fairly inconsistent - for which, I apologize. But it begs the question, where in the hell have I been? Well, the answer to that question is all over the place. Utah, quick-trip back to Iowa, Ohio - not to mention things have been busy and pretty exciting here in Chicago.

But let me not get ahead of myself - Let me begin by telling you a bit about my trip back to Utah and how I had the wonderful opportunity to visit family. The time spent in Utah was short, but it was definitely wonderful. I find myself missing at times, the simplicity of being able to hop into my car and head over to my moms or a siblings home when I want to see them. It now requires months of planning, saving and arranging of schedules... being an adult with responsibilities can be taxing. (And I suppose living across the country doesn't help either.)
I flew into Utah directly following a shift at work - I was tired, but the energy of being around my family was enough to keep me going well beyond my usual sleep cycle. I was able to have brunch with my mom, hang out with my brother and his family, spend time at my sister's house (where I was able to meet my newest niece, Shiloh) - while there, my other sister and part of her family came by and we were all able to relax, catch up and just talk. I also was able to spend some quality time with my mom as we went around running various errands. I think I miss those moments the most - where we don't need to be having any sort of discussion - it could be an observation, a joke, random thoughts and just sitting there laughing. And I did a lot of laughing over the course of those few days - My mom and Dani like to say that my brother, my nephews (Aidan and Jarron) and I share one brain cell because we have the exact same humor that no one else seems to get. And then we feed off each other and just end up rolling on the floor. Take, for instance, the random moment of my brothers cat going into heat the night I was over - making random sounds, acting strange - then hearing Jason and Dani explain to the boys why the cat was acting the way it was... I still laugh about it at random times. Simple moments that become fantastic memories.
Speaking of fantastic memories, many members of my family and I took part in the SLC 5K as Team Sadie. It's a tradition that is holding strong and something I am finding myself looking forward to every year. I decided recently, that I plan on winning the 5K one of these years and represent Team Sadie - so with that in mind, I decided to run the race this year. I did place 5th in my division, which I was happy about - and it also gave me the opportunity to cheer on Team Sadie as they all crossed the line. I think the 5K will always be emotional for me considering why we are doing it and the memories it stirs up, but this year there was another family with a boy who is facing a DIPG who met up with my sister during the race. So while they walked, they talked and ended up crossing the line together. I hate that there seems to be more and more kids with this type of cancer, but I can't help but love the fact that there is such a strong support between all of us families who have experienced someone we love going through it. There is strength in numbers and the support for each other is overwhelming and incredible. Later that day, the entire family got together for family pictures - an event in itself considering the size of our family, but it all ended up turning out fantastic. All in all, a short trip but incredible and memorable.

It was around that time that I decided to do something a little more with my goal of 50 marathons in 50 states. I thought it might be a great idea to merge that goal and somehow benefit or raise money for The Cure Starts Now Foundation. I sent an e-mail to the foundation with a rough idea and they seemed really supportive of it, so they gave me some information on what to do to set up a fund-raising page and gave me creative liberty to make it happen. I decided that if I could commit people to donate $10 with every marathon I run, then that would add up substantially over the years - even though donating roughly $20-30 a year doesn't seem like much at the time. People seem to have been really supportive of it and I'm looking forward to seeing how well it does in the future. (Side note, for more information the link to my page at The Cure Starts Now is: http://events.thecurestartsnow.org/site/TR/AnnualGiving/General?team_id=1690&pg=team&fr_id=1050, and I have also set up a page on facebook, http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/50-Marathons-50-States-for-The-Cure-Starts-Now-Foundation/227211247304538 where I will be giving updates about future marathons, information related to DIPG and childhood cancers, running information, etc.)

A few weeks after I was in Utah, Scott and I did a 5-hour road trip out to Cincinnati, OH for the Flying Pig Marathon. We arrived in Cincinnati in the afternoon and immediately went to the marathon expo so I wouldn't stress about getting my packet/bib. After that was taken care of, we decided to walk around downtown. I'm not going to lie, there wasn't much to see or do. Random pockets of fantastic, high-end stores next to completely sketchy stores - and there was nobody on the streets. It was bizarre - so we wondered for a bit, found a fantastic Italian restaurant and then headed back to the hotel. The next morning, I got up for the race and felt incredibly excited and ready for it - I didn't even care that it was raining. My main goals in training were not to get hurt and to be healthy for it (since those were my two main problems when I ran in the Chicago Marathon). Not to mention, I had been training the entire time with all -natural snacks and coconut water, so as weird as it sounds, I felt very grounded and all-around healthy.
I had a very special moment as I was starting the marathon - I was thinking about running for the Cure Starts Now and the wonderful kids I've met over the past couple years who are facing the unspeakable. And I thought of my niece and the trials she had to go through - And then, as the race began and I was inching toward the start line, a song came on my MP3 player that was the song that was playing in my car when I got in my car to drive home from my sister's the morning Sadie passed away. There I was standing in a crowd of cold, anxious runners with rain dripping down our faces and I as soon as I heard that song, vivid memories of Sadie came flooding back - of that day and so many others, almost in a steady stream, taking me back. And with that in mind, the marathon didn't seem daunting at all. I had a niece who fought cancer for over a year. I've met other kids who have fought the same battle who don't let it hold them down in any degree. But with that in mind, I don't want any other child to have to face it. So suddenly, with the song as a reminder (which I honestly feel was a Sadie shout-out), I felt extra motivated to make the goal to benefit The Cure Starts Now even more of a reality.
The race itself was ideal. While it did rain for the first 12 miles or so, the temperatures stayed low and tolerable. The only main problem I faced was that Cincinnati has many hills and I did not prepare adequately for that - so near the end, I found myself wincing at the idea of heading down another hill (no matter the size)... you'd think that the uphill would've been the issue, but they seemed easier compared to downhill. Oh, the lessons you learn... I ended up finishing the race in 04:46:46, which I was very happy with. Scott met up with me in downtown Cincinnati after the race and we headed back home that afternoon. On the way home, he treated me to a celebratory dinner at Texas Roadhouse - we ate way too much and I' pretty sure I put back in every calorie that I burned during the race, but it was totally worth it. It took me a solid week and a half to feel better - but after I finally felt 100%, I decided to choose my next marathon - The Monumental Marathon in Indianapolis, IN on November 5. I'm already looking forward to it and have started light training for it (This week put a bit of a damper in those plans with temps being in the high 90's AND my A.C. being broken - suffice to say, not much of anything was done.)

It was around that time that Osama Bin Laden was killed. I know it may seem weird that I'm bringing this up in a personal update, but the reaction of people around me was really surprising in so many ways and I found it had a profound effect on me. When I heard news that he was killed, I was shocked - though I didn't really have a strong feeling either way. I wasn't sad but I wasn't happy about it - it was what it was. News. And I found that very strange for me - have I been desensitized by news that I honestly felt no reaction. Then I started reading posts on facebook - people were celebrating, praising the military, saying how great it was to have Osama dead, etc. - and that is when I found it appalling. The general consensus online was celebrating the fact that he had died - and regardless of what that man did and who he was - I honestly couldn't believe it that people were responding that way. It didn't take long before people were rebutting, quoting scripture about not taking joy in an enemies death, etc., but the way that those people presented themselves almost seemed like they were on a high horse looking down on the people that were celebrating. And suddenly, I questioned humanity in a way and what we, as a culture, considered to be good and bad, what the expectation of morality is and where we are supposed to draw the line. It is something that I still am curious about, even though the news articles no longer run Osamas name and all of the status updates about it are a distant memory... it was just such a strange moment for me. Stranger still that I don't have a resolution for how I feel about it...

At any rate, I mentioned briefly in my last post that I was thinking of going back to school. Well, that is true, though I changed course a little bit. The more I looked into Kendall College, the less thrilled I felt about it. The degree only went to a Bachelors (and I felt that I may want to pursue further later in life), not to mention astronomical tuition rates. I, unfortunately, have learned a valuable lesson about student loans the hard way. Going to a private culinary college, while great for the experience and great for the name since I've been out of college, was a mistake in many ways. Tuition costs and the private loans with obscene interest rates - it is something I will literally be paying for for a long time. Not to mention, none of my credits transfer from culinary school to any other state college or university. So, I am starting from scratch and I'm doing it smart this time around. I have enrolled (and already started, as I'm writing this) at Truman College in Chicago. The tuition costs are incredibly reasonable compared to other universities and colleges and I also have the added benefit of getting tuition reimbursement through my job at Marriott (if I do well in my classes, of course). I started school on Wednesday and am taking English and Humanities - both online courses. I thought the online courses would be good for me because of my schedule, but it is definitely taking some getting used to. I need to be incredibly structured with my time otherwise I find myself in the middle of a project and then checking my e-mail. Bad. The summer courses go pretty fast, so there is a lot of information to cover and projects aplenty - but so far it's going very well. The goal is to take 1-2 classes every semester until I'm able to transfer to University of Illinois Chicago to study Nutritional Science. It will take time to get to that point, but I'm up for the challenge and feel driven to make it happen.

Other news, Scott is in New York for a summer program. Luckily for me, he will be back next week for about 2 weeks for a small break before he heads back to New York to do the actual production (for which, he'll be gone for about 3 weeks) So the past two weeks have been trying to get myself organized, doing some running, yoga, meditation, catching up on sleep, working a lot and getting myself geared up for new projects at work and school. So, the past few months have been great and I'm looking forward to what this summer has in store. Perhaps I'll write more frequently... but don't hold your breath. My track record is pretty lousy. :) Until next time~

Hiatus to the extreme...

Wow. Didn't realize it has been so long since I've written a blog. My apologies -

Here is a quick update to catch up - the end of the year was as much as a hot mess as I expected it to be. Massive amounts of work, doing side projects with my personal business, not to mention Scott was incredibly busy with all of this choir, regular work and singing demands with auditions. So we hardly had much time to do just sit back and enjoy the holiday season, let alone each other. So when we found time, we tried to make the most of it. The holidays were lovely - We ended up going to Des Moines and spending some quality time with Scott's family. I couldn't take much time off of work, so I ended up leaving early and started right into the new year with working part-time at the restaurant and lobby bar in the hotel and switching over from a regular day shift to the night shift (from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.) to help out since the previous baker retired.
Whenever I tell people that, they seem to think 'Dear sweet baby Jesus... how can anybody work those ungodly hours?' and trust me, I said them to myself when I started. But as the days and weeks went by, I noticed that my body responded very well to working at night, I had more freedom in many different aspects and it was tremendously less stressful. All these factors led me to switching permanently to the night shift and I've been loving it. It is a little tricky with Scott's schedule (which, with his full-time job is a typical 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. - not to mention his other music demands) - but even then, I usually see him in the mornings before he heads to work, and we have the weekends off together. So all in all, it's been working out great.

In addition to the night shift and working as a server part-time, I've also been training for a marathon that will be happening on May 1 in Cincinnati, OH. I just ran 18 miles earlier today and the run went pretty well - my main goals for this marathon training is no injuries, no sickness and to keep high fructose corn syrup out of my diet. The first two goals stem from the fact that I've overtrained for my previous marathons and have hurt my knee - not too seriously, but enough to negatively effect my performance - and not to mention, I had a cold on the Chicago Marathon. Bad news bears. And the high fructose corn syrup... I just don't want it in my body anymore. I've made some major switches in my diet to keep it out, namely, absolutely no soda, only using 100% pure maple syrup, avoiding power drinks like Gatorade (yes, it provides the electrolytes my body uses up with running, but there are other options, like coconut water, that provide a natural approach). This entire training season has gone very well so far, despite being busy from work and missing some of the daily runs.

And let's break it down and cut all the bullshit. One of the main reasons I've fallen off of the blog radar is because I had a little thing called a 'quarterlife crisis'. It sounds strange but google it. It's very real and I had no idea it existed and was natural for people my age. Near the end of the year, I got really depressed and didn't know about what I wanted to do with my future, what was happening for the future with Scott, where I saw myself in the future... It was just a bad situation for me and for those closest to me (especially Scott). I won't go into details of everything - but just say that I've been working through it... and that things are tremendously better.

And that being said, I plan on going back to school to study nutrition. I plan on continuing with culinary education and doing a concentration in nutrition. There is a fantastic program here in Chicago at Kendall College (one of the best culinary schools here) and I've been talking with them about starting by next year. Obviously more to come as this develops.

And on a personal level, I have gotten into yoga lately. I'm in the process of taking a few classes at a studio downtown and the instructor is incredible - very much about the process of uniting mind, body and spirit. It's not just poses (which I'm fairly familiar with because of Mr. Rodney Yee and his DVD's) but the classes focus on breathing, centering ones self, clarity --- it's been an incredible experience so far and has helped me quite a bit in this transition in my life.

All that and my new niece, Shiloh Huish, was born yesterday. Things are fantastic - what can I say?

I'll do better at writing on this, since I feel I'm in a better place to do so. Until then~

It's November?!

Wow. It's November. Where does time go? It seems to go quicker the older I get... I've never really understood that. At any rate, many things have happened over the past few months so some catching up is in order.
First off, Happy (belated) Halloween! Halloween is also my sisters birthday, so growing up, Halloween always carried extra special meaning and cause for extra celebration. There's always going to be a part of me that wants to go all out. Surprisingly, work became incredibly demanding for both Scott and myself and I didn't get around to decorating, carving pumpkins and doing all the things I normally do for Halloween. Luckily, Scott and I were able to attend a party or two and dress up - so it's nice that, if not anything else, that was able to happen. Now, allow me to break away for a bit and speak my mind about costumes for Halloween. In fact, I live by a set of rules for Halloween costumes:

1. Stick to your race. I will never dress up as any character that is not Caucasian.There's no better way to create an awkward moment than running into a person who is actually the race you are half-assingly trying to portray.
   
2. Stick to your gender. I am pretty sure that I will not make an attractive woman and, honestly, I am not willing to find out for sure. (Plus, Scott has told me on more than one occasion that he'd break up with me if I did drag.)
3. Be unique - I will never dress up as a generic cowboy or cop. It will be incredibly specific to ensure there is no one else dressed up in a similar costume. If it's a cop, it's going to be the evil cop from Terminator 2 or one of the cops from Reno 911. If I'm going to be a cowboy, it's going to be one from actual history or Marty from Back to the Future 3... (apparently I have a thing for 90's movies - but you catch my drift.)
4. Commit to the costume. If you are dressed up as a cat, don't just buy cat ears, wear black and paint on some whiskers. There better be fur, a tail, collar and you should be holding a ball of yarn and meowing on occasion throughout the night.

The gay community and their costumes are similar to womens costumes - you can be anything you want, it just needs to be a slutty version of it. I didn't want to play into that and I didn't want to 'celebrate' the gory side of Halloween either (I don't get peoples fascination with horror - I don't enjoy it at all)
Anyway, with that in mind, I decided to be the opposite of horror and sleaze and ended up choosing Jesus. For a few reasons actually - One, I like Jesus. Two, I feel that people get so uptight about religion and spirituality and I was curious to see if people would respond positively or negatively to it. Three, with all the news recently of young gay people committing suicide, I wanted to dress as a gay-friendly version of Jesus. Beside the fact that I feel Jesus is, in fact, gay friendly, I feel like people act out their hate and intolerance in the name of religion - deciding what is right and what it wrong for people who don't share those same beliefs. I'm sick of it. So the idea of a gay man dressing up as Jesus seemed incredibly appealing. And it actually ended up being a fun costume and interesting for me because it made me think of what Jesus actually looked like. Granted, I may have gone against my first rule in costumes - I'm pretty sure Jesus was not Caucasian, I figured I was safe. Especially since every culture seems to claim Jesus in their own race.
Scott dressed up as a scientist and oddly enough, people thought we were a joint costume, being "Science and Religion". We didn't plan that, but we rolled with it once people started relating our costumes to each other. All in all, it was a fun Halloween and I am officially partied out for a good month or so.

(Picture with our friend Jacque who was Poison Ivy (of the Batman Villian variety)

Moving back, let me fill you in on the Chicago Marathon. Training for the marathon was something I stuck pretty regularly to throughout the past 9 months - especially while Scott was gone in New Jersey. I think there is something in me that is incredibly self-motivated when I am alone for an extended period of time - and maybe it's partly due to the fact that I have more time to myself to do those things. At any rate, I felt confident in my training and honestly felt that I would not only meet my time goal of 4:20:00, but would actually would surpass that time and do better than I initally expected. On one of my long runs (24 miles), however, I tweaked my knee - it was about 6 or 7 weeks before the race, so I took it easy with my following runs, took pain pills/applied mass amounts of Icy/Hot, iced my knee after runs and workouts, bought a brace and tried to do my best to take it easy. On race day, I brought my brace just in case, popped some pills and did my best.
It was a pleasant run for the first 8 miles or so before I started feeling pain in my knee - so I strapped the brace tighter and kept on. Around the mile 14, I started cramping up, so I ended up falling behind and around mile 17-18, I was cramping up so bad that I ran until I cramped up and walked until I could run again... and continued that until the end. Add to the fact that I was fighting a cold and the temperature was in the low 80's, it ended up being a rough couple of hours. 05:05:41 to be exact. I wasn't the most impressed with myself, despite my circumstances, but one I was able to sit back and realize - Yes, in fact, I did do my best. That's when I felt proud of my finish time.
Scott was adorable. When I got home, Scott had prepared a wonderful dinner of smoked barbeque chicken, pumpkin biscuits, and fried sweet potatoes - which I was only able to eat a fraction of because my body was so rocked from the race. It was all incredibly delicious and I ate mass amounts later that night. He also got me some Lush products - a bath bomb, a massage bar and some foot lotion so that I could pamper myself after the race. In addition to that, he threw a small get together with some of our close friends as a congratulatory time party for me - he made tea, coffee and, best of all, the most delicious carrot bundt cake I've ever eaten. I don't know how I got so lucky to have him as my partner, but the man sure knows how to make me feel loved.
As congratulations to myself, I signed up for my next marathon in Cincinnati in May. It is the 13th annual Flying Pig Marathon - I don't know what I was attracted to more, the fact that it was the number 13 or that it was a marathon named after flying pigs, but regardless it was a natural choice to be my next marathon. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor (the same doctor for the Chicago Bears, apparently) who, I hope, will tell me that my knee will be strong for years to come and wish me well on my future training. I didn't want to start training for the next marathon until I got the official OK from a doctor.
All in all, things are going well. Work has been going well - the new dessert menu has been up for a few weeks now and is going pretty well. Desserts tend to sell really well initially because all of the servers are excited about the new items and then it tapers off and we sell an average amount. I feel more confident in my menu writing skills, although it is still a process that I need to get used to. Especially since the menu is not mine - it is my bosses - so my style is always trumped by her. Which is fine (for now) - she has the experience and knowledge obviously or else she would be in the position she is. But I'm looking forward to creating my own items and not worrying about it being picked apart, changed and rearranged into something that is no longer my idea. With that in mind, I am beginning to be more proactive about creating a serious plan for my own business. I want to be my own boss and am beginning to take those first steps toward making that dream a reality. More on that to follow - perhaps here, perhaps on the culinary blog...
Another thing that has been on my mind heavily lately is religion - but what's new, right? I've been reading a book called A History of God by Karen Armstrong.

It is completely fascinating. It takes the reader on a historic journey through the belief of Gods in different cultures and religions - primarily Christianity, Judaism and Islam. (Though she has also touched on historic philosophers concepts of God/a Higher Power.) I think the most fascinating thing for me was discovering more about Islam and the prophet Muhammed. I had no idea that in Islam, Allah is considered the same God shared by Christians and Jews. Similarly, I had no idea that Muslims recognize prophets of the Old Testament and Jesus as spiritual leaders and prophets of God. Also, something I love about the Islam religion is that they don't just read the words of the Koran. It is chanted in Arabic in a almost a poetic tone - to the point that it transcends someone just reciting a verse - its an experience and feeling unique to someone like me who has only read scripture like a book.
Karen Armstrong writes: "It is not a book to be read simply to acquire information. It is meant to yield a sense of the diving, and must not be read in haste... By approaching the Koran in the right way, Muslims claim that they do experience a sense of transcendence, of an ultimate reality and power that lie behind the transient and fleeting phenomena of the mundane world. Reading the Koran is therefore a spiritual discipline, which Christians may find difficult to understand because they do not have a sacred language, in the way that Hebrew, Sanskrit and Arabic are sacred to Jews, Hindus and Muslims."
It is so fascinating to me. I actually looked up people reciting the Koran - it is an experience. Check this out.

This is performed by Mr.Amin Pouya from Iran at the International Quran Competitions held at Calicut, India in August 2006. (The reviews of this say that 4:30 - 5:00 in the video is the most emotional/wonderful - so check that out especially.)
It has been so wonderful to learn more about Islam and the beliefs of Muslims - the only information I've really acquired up to this point is the negative press in the media. Which, let's be honest, I never believed. I hardly believe anything the media says, especially if it is casting a negative light on an entire culture.
Another thing that I've been really into lately is a weekly program on NPR entitled On Being, hosted by Krista Tippett. It is a fascinating program that focuses on faith, humanity, beliefs, culture, spirituality and ethics... each week features something new and enlightening. I can't get enough of it. You are able to listen to/download any of their programs for free on their website - which I strongly encourage anyone to do. If you are interested in this sort of thing - I simply love it.
At any rate, it is time to throw in the towel for the night. I am going in early to work tomorrow so I can make it to my appointment with the orthopedic doctor, followed by getting my vote on. Oh, Illinois politicians... who is the least corrupt that I should vote for? That is the question...

Until next time!

Summer 2010

The past few months (also known as 'Summer') have come and gone incredibly quick. The only things I have to show for it are some great lessons learned from the school of hard knocks while I was at work, a sweet farmers tan from training for the Chicago Marathon while running outside and a couple of blog posts that were started and never saw the light of day. For the hard knocks lessons, you can visit my other blog here. As far as my farmers tan, I don't even want to look at it myself, let alone show you. But alas, the unfinished blog entries, I can definitely share. Here is one that I started on July 28th, which then moves in to a blog I started on June 25th:

I don't know where this summer has gone - I'm looking back on July alone and it is literally a blur. I suppose that is what happens when time is spent being incredibly involved in work (large parties, wedding cakes, wedding planning - and especially research for the new menu in my off time) along with training for the marathon in October, tennis every week - as well as a unexpected social life with new and old friends. It's been busier than I anticipated and I'm finding myself a little shocked that Scott just got home a few days ago.

The last paragraph was incredibly condensed. Let me elaborate somewhat... June held some incredibly emotional times. Namely, the 25th was the one year mark of Sadie's passing... which, I'm not going to lie, threw me into a funk. I started to write a blog about it, but never finished... here's what I did write.

(This is where the entry from June 25th picks up)

Today marks one year since my niece Sadie passed away... and while I am resisting the urge to talk about the memories and emotions that made me a hot mess today, I want to focus on something I realized today. The reason I am back here in Chicago, living my dream is because of Sadie's example. If it wasn't for her passion for living life to the fullest, I honestly don't think I'd have been proactive as I was to apply for the position I am currently in. It was a form of inspiration to reconnect with a contact (my boss, now) and the chance in a lifetime that my dream job opened up that next week. I pursued it with all my energy and intent... and I got it. I remember during the application process and the interviews, I thought of Sadie taking advantage of time to do the things she wanted to do, and that gave me the extra drive to make my dreams happen.
That is just one of many reasons that she inspired and influenced me then... and still does to this day - I know for a fact there are countless other people who share that sentiment.
It was actually a very special moment for me today to be able to have some time to sit and reflect on Sadie's short but fulfilling life. To aide in that process, I pulled out an audio copy of Sadie's funeral service that my sister gave me right before I moved back to Chicago. I listened to the music that was played and words spoken, and while tears were steadily flowing, I couldn't help but feel overjoyed. My sister and her husband did such an incredible job with the organization of the program, because it truly was a celebration of Sadie's life (and her love of it) while she was here. And I guess that's the positive message I've been trying to pull from today - Enjoying life while you have it and living it to the fullest. My sister did an amazing job in her talk, telling memories, playing clips of Sadie singing and laughing, telling about her favorite things, way and examples she showed her love.... truly special.
I thought of her all day today but I couldn't help but feel her with me when I was icing and decorating a wedding cake. That may sound strange, but knowing Sadie's love of baking (and her attention to detail and decoration), it was a special moment for me to do something I know she loved, especially on a day when she was constantly on my mind.
I realize this post is a bit all over the place, but I couldn't let the day go by without acknowledging Sadie and her memory today. I miss her so much and still look up to her and her example.

(The entry then picks back up when I wrote on July 28th)

My birthday was the next day an I ended up working a 13 hour shift - it was actually a unique experience because we had 2 wedding cakes to prepare and set-up, in addition to a celebrity event that was being held at the hotel. The event was called Rally for Kids which is an organization set up for kids with cancer. The idea behind the even was that the celebrities would be driving super expensive cars and do a scavenger hunt all over the city of Chicago. The scavenger hunt itself was not just picking up items, but doing tasks along the way - and our task at the hotel was to have the celebrities build a 2-layer cake in 12 minutes (including the icing, filling and decoration). The first task was that they needed to whip their whipping cream for the filling until it was stiff enough - and they got bonus points if they were brave enough to flip the bowl of whipped cream over and hold it over their heads for a couple of seconds. My personal task was to judge the whipped cream station for the bonus points and every single celebrity went for it. They all were able to do it, although one group flung the bowl over their head so fast that the bowl flew out of their hands. It landed on the floor and shot the whipped cream all over the front of my pants and the floor around me - luckily enough stayed in the bowl so that the lady could still fill her cake.
All in all, it was a fun event to be a part of - and the cakes the celebrities made generally looked awful.

(I wish I had pictures of that event - but since most of the celebrities were... well, celebrities - it would've looked tacky on a personal level and bad, as an employee of Marriott, to snap a few pictures. Rest assured, it was hilarious. E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi and Apprentice winner Bill Rancic were filming there for their reality show, so there's the possibility that you'll get to see the action eventually. I did have to sign a release after they left, so apparently I'm in a few of the shots - We'll see...)

Finally, this blog was started on August 3:

Tonight I was able to go to the Wellness House to teach a class about antioxidants. We had a small lecture about what antioxidants are, and then we rolled out sweet dough to make fruit tarts. While the tart shells were baking, we played a matching game about what fruits paired with what antioxidants and then we all shared our answers. Following that, I had a little demo of how to build a fruit tart and then they all decorated their own tarts (and consumed them quickly) It was such a great night - and it was such a great experience to be able to work with these families who are facing such a hard event in their lives. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but it's interesting volunteering there because you go in there knowing that someone in this family - whether it be a dad, mom, grandparent, or one of the children - is battling cancer, they at least have this one night to be around people who are facing similar situations and be able to have that support... and simply have fun and enjoy themselves. It humbles me every time I'm there.

Along the same lines, I recently had an incredible pleasure to meet the Watters family who live in a nearby suburb of Chicago. The youngest member of the Watters family, Benny, is battling the same cancer that Sadie faced. He was diagnosed in January of 2009, and is clearly beating the odds with his battle. I found out about this family through my sister (who is part of a great support of families who have faced similar battles with DIPG) and I contacted them saying where I work and asked if they ever wanted to come and visit, it'd be great to do a fun pastry project together or something. Well, after some correspondence and arranging of schedules, we were able to meet up at the hotel. I took them on a little tour of the hotel (the rooftop garden, the bees and the pastry shop), then they decorated cupcakes in the pastry shop and snacked on some delicious snacks. All the while, I was able to get to know them better and instantly felt such love and respect for them. We are already planning another cupcake event soon at their home. Here are a few pictures:


Suffice to say, it's been a great summer. While it has gone fast, it has been memorable beyond anything I could've hoped for. Work is going well... now. There was a small chunk of time there where I was struggling with meeting the expectations of my boss, and quite honestly, of myself. But as all lessons in life, I was able to work through it and was able to learn from the negative experiences to become more productive, effective and successful.

Regarding the training for the marathon, it's going quite fantastic. I have a time goal of 4:20:00 and I feel really optimistic that I'm going to be able to do that. My long runs have reached up to 25 miles and I am able to run home from work (which is roughly 9 miles) feeling really good. The marathon is coming up here in a few weeks (October 10) - so it's finally becoming a reality that this is really happening soon. I mentioned in an earlier blog about my new goal of 50 marathons in 50 states before I turn 50... well, my boss at work found out about that and is dedicated to trying to help me achieve this goal ASAP. She'll be in her office and call me in, with a serious tone. I am concerned when I go in, thinking I messed something up unknowingly, but she hands me a printout of a marathon in a neighboring state and says I should run that one to knock that state out of the way. Its nice to have that support at work for personal goals... I feel very lucky often to be working where I am.

Scott is back from his summer program - things were a little rocky for him coming back to a very open schedule after his intense schooling and going right into a summer program that worked him 6 days a week with ridiculous hours. As I'm sure any of us would agree, too much free time is not a good thing and Scott instantly felt desire to work. Unfortunately, the job market is still awful in Chicago and he was having a hard time finding any work, despite his qualifications, schooling and persistence in applying for any (and every) job that he could imagine doing. Gratefully, his choir job with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra began recently and his choir job at church will begin shortly - in addition to another job he got recently. So all in all, things are working out well. He was able to make some incredible contacts during the summer in Princeton and I wouldn't be surprised if by early next year, his professional career is incredibly busy. I have no doubt in my mind he's going to be wildly successful - and I don't just say that because I'm his partner and am madly in love with him - he is the type of person that has that drive to make his dreams a reality and nothing is going to come in the way of that. His voice is gorgeous, he is gorgeous and it's only a matter of time before he's performing all over the world. (You heard it here first, people.) Seriously. He's incredible. So... for now, it's great to have him home. But I am excited for him to go out there and fulfill his passion... his auditions for various programs/companies are coming up quickly, so it'll be exciting to see what happens and where he'll be going next.

What else... On a personal level, I've been feeling more of a drive to get in touch with my spirituality and relationship with God. I had a neat experience with one of my best friends recently when we were out to dinner. We were talking religion and spirituality and I was explaining my frustration with religion and how I'm not able to get out of religion what I desire. One thing I loved about the LDS church that I miss is the fact that there was 2/3 of the services devoted to teaching of doctrine and principles of the church. I miss learning about spirituality. I miss learning doctrine. I miss pulling out scriptures and referencing articles and taking notes. (Am I the only one who did this?!?!) I miss that aspect of my spirituality and I don't feel I've gotten it from any church I've been to since. Let me be clear in saying that I don't miss the LDS church - really. But I do miss learning and getting something out of lessons/sermons/etc. I was explaining to my friend how fluffy the church Scott and I go to is - the sermons are 'feel-good' types of sermons with 'Love everyone' mingled with cultural references so the congregation can relate in a very modern way. I can't stand it. I attempted every time I was there to get something out of it and all I heard was ethical babble about doing good - which is fine for some people, but I expect more for myself. So I told him that where I go to church now, God is fluffy. He has rainbows and puppies and everyone is great no matter what. My friend is actually studying to become a priest in the Catholic church, but has a background in Judaism, Mormonism, and even Wicca, among others - so this man knows spirituality... which is one great reason we get along so well. He asked me questions about what I expect of my spirituality and if I think I can get it from religion... Well, unknown to us, the table next to us was eves dropping on our conversation and as they got up to leave, one of the men handed me a slip of paper and said 'I think you might need this book. Good luck.' I opened the slip of paper and it said the title of a book called The Discernment of Spirits (by Timothy M. Gallagher). I don't believe in coincidences and I certainly am open to anyone who might have a suggestion on what I can do to help my spirituality, so I took this as a kind sign from a kind stranger and I ordered the book. I'm currently in the process of reading it now - it's a heavy book (and I don't mean the weight) - but it's an interesting idea that you can discern what comes from God by your feelings. If you hear something and you feel peaceful and happy with what you hear, then it comes from God. If you feel doubt or questioning or have a hard time thinking, then it comes from another source that is not of God. This definitely sounds more simple than how it's presented in the book, and maybe it really is that simple at the root of it all, but I think it's going to be a great tool as I learn more about this discernment of spirits and as I discover my spirituality more.

At any rate, this novel must come to a close - I have coffee in the morning with a dear friend and I still have miles to go before I sleep. Until next time.

It's Oh So Quiet

The apartment is so quiet right now. I guess I've grown accustom to hearing Scott listening to opera scenes on youtube or hearing him perfecting a piece that he's learning for one of his upcoming roles. But he is in transit to Princeton, New Jersey for the next two months for a summer program. I know he's going to be incredibly busy and I know I am going to be incredibly busy with my work - but here I am at day one and I already miss hearing him in the other room. It's something I'm sure I will get used to over time - The opera world seems to be incredibly transient with going from place to place for weeks to months at a time. I should've prefaced that with a "If you're good, the opera world seems to be transient"... And Scott is. He may be just starting out his professional career, but it's only a matter of time before he is singing all over the world, selling out opera theaters, getting standing ovations and such. I'll look back on this time and think "Wow. I had a hard time with him being gone for two months? Bitch, please." or something along those lines. Above it all, however, I am so proud of him. I have no doubt he's going to do (and be) amazing.

Aside from that, I had the entire day off - to myself. This past month was insane with looking for a new apartment, Scott's recital, Scott's graduation, people visiting from town every weekend for 4 weeks straight, wedding cakes and prom events at the hotel, being sick for a good 2 weeks (thanks to allergies I didn't know I had) - I feel like I've hardly had time to sit and breathe - and suddenly, there is a calm silence in the apartment and I can't help but feel like I should be running somewhere or doing something specific. But instead, after an emotional goodbye early this morning, I went back to sleep (and slept in), I took time making breakfast, I did yoga, went for an hour run along Lakeshore Drive, spend some time with kitty - just took time to enjoy myself again. I have plans this evening to research some things for a project at work, as well as research for my new blog www.pastrymelioration.blogspot.com. This blog was created with the thought that I fully intend to take my career to the next level and learn all I can to be the best - because, let's be real, it's inevitable that I'm going to be incredibly successful. I look quiet and soft-spoken, but I am ambitious and determined to constantly be better than I am. So, with that in mind, I realized recently that there are things in my career I need to work on, and I'm going to track those goals, lessons, and thoughts on that blog. Read it if you'd like, shout out some ideas/comments from time to time and we'll all have a splendid time learning something together.

All in all, the update is this: Things are going really well. I am getting back into my marathon training (there was a decent pause due to... well... the month of May [see previous paragraph]); the career is going incredibly well, especially with the wedding season already in full swing; We (Scott, myself and our roommate Jess) renewed our lease and are staying in our apartment for another year (thus, eliminating the stress of moving); Truly, I expect some great things to happen this summer.

One thing that was incredible (that I unfortunately missed due to being here in Chicago) was a golf tournament/silent auction that T and Zac set up in honor of Sadie, that benefitted 'The Cure Starts Now' chapter in Utah. The updates that I've been seeing from Sadies blog (sadiehuish.blogspot.com) as well as T's facebook have been showing that the event was a huge success. It is so exciting to hear about.

June is bound to be a very special/emotional month - I do look back on memories from last year fondly, but it was just such an awful situation to be going through and my heart aches when I think of Sadie being gone for an entire year. It is still so unbelieveable. One of many things I gained from being back in Utah last year was being grateful for each moment and taking advantage of it - that has definitely played heavily into my daily life.

More updates are sure to follow - especially with all this extra free time on my hands. :)