My lack of personality is catching up with me...

The past few weeks, like I said in my last post, have been filled with work... and now I finally have time to sit and jot down a few things.

First off, do you guys remember me telling you about the Marriott Downtown and how they made a part-time position for me after I rocked their stage? Well. Here's the update. They told me that all I needed to do was fill out the online application and the personality test and we'd be squared away. I'm not sure what exactly they were looking for, but the first time I didn't pass the personality assessment. So I got a call back from the Executive Pastry Chef there (who I get along very well with) and she told me the news. She asked me to try it again, but this time fill out every answer the way the Marriott would ideally want... just play it up. So I did. And I didn't pass it again. So I got another call from her asking me to try it again - annoyed, but really wanting this position, I did it. I even called a dear friend who works at the Marriott for some advice on what I might need to do to pass it. So I felt confident in the test and sent the Marriott a message telling them I finished the application and waited to hear back from them.....
.....Fast forward 2 1/2 weeks and I still hadn't heard anything. It was hard not to assume that I didn't pass or that they decided not to create that position they had made for me - but I gave it one last effort and e-mailed the pastry chef about the results. It turns out that I didn't pass the personality portion again and that they ended up giving the position to someone else. Needless to say, I was a little furious. And confused. As Scott reminded me, I had worked for Marriott twice before - they seemed to like my personality then... why not now? Suffice to say, I don't care much for personality tests anymore. I have the experience, I have the knowledge, and I was even offered the position - but because of that test, it didn't work out. I am very much of the belief that everything happens for a reason, so with the effort and time I put into this position and having it still not work out, I can't help but feel that it just wasn't meant to be from the start. I'm not sure why... but when I figure it out, I'll let you all know.

That's the most recent drama in my life. Other than that, things are going very well. Work at the Westin is getting back to normal - I just filled out all the information for benefits for Scott and I... so we should have insurance just in time for the winter. It's so weird sometimes to be an adult - I never expected something like insurance for me and my partner to be high on the list of my priorities. But I'm glad it is now - I'm sure it'll come in handy. :)

Anyway, Halloween is coming up, which is actually my sisters birthday! Growing up, we'd always deck out thehouse in Halloween decorations - it was always a big deal. This year is no exception... Scott decided to throw a big Halloween party, so I took it upon myself to decorate the apartment with pictures, spider webs, lights, pumpkins, etc. It's pretty much the shit. And as an added bonus, I'm dressing up as David Bowie from the Labyrinth.
Granted, my facial features aren't as pointy - but other than that, I have the whole damn outfit ready. Including a large package. Pictures are sure to follow.

And lastly and very importantly, Scott's opera is this weekend!! I'm so excited to see then man in action. He's been telling me how crazy his character is and how he rocks it - so I'll be sure to tell you more about that in the near future.

Hello and Goodnight

Just a quick blog to say I am still alive. Work has been insane over the past month - in fact, my last check said that I worked roughly 106 hours... Suffice to say, I come home and sleep - wake up, eat with Scott, and sleep again. And then repeat. Thankfully, the busy season is slowing down and I have time to recuperate, which means that I'll have time to type out some random thoughts and rants again from time to time. That being said, it's getting late and I should head off to bed. So, while this entry is small, be sure to look for a new entry soon.

reflections on friendships

There is a stretch of road while I drive to work that runs through a wooded park... I was on my home today and realized what an array of color there was in the trees - I love autumn... It's nice to see everything so rustic and colorful - and also nice to have it a little cooler. Word from my family says that Utah has seen snow a couple times already - thank godfully, I have not. I still have time to enjoy the scenery for a few more weeks.

Work is busy - hence, my lack of writing. I've also been doing quite a bit of self-reflection lately - Hell, I always do - but this has involved thinking about my past, experiences with school, experiences with friends, relationships I've built - some I've held on to and some I've let slip away. I don't know if you guys have gotten that e-mail that puts friendships in terms or being there for a reason, a season, or lifetime friends... I know I've gotten it at least 5 times - if you haven't, let me know and I'll send it to you. Anyway, I haven't read the e-mail for a while, but randomly at work, the words popped in my mind and I got thinking about my friendships that I've had throughout my life. I feel that I have been an unconditional friend to many and there have been quite a few who have taken advantage of that. But more importantly, there are an incredible few that have been completely unconditional in return. Then I thought of those who were in my life for a reason and haven't been in my life since. Then I thought of those friends who were in my life through different stages - in high school, or on my mission, or in Las Vegas. And while I think of these friends fondly, I really don't expect them to call me and I have no intention on calling them. Long story short, I ended up deleting my myspace account because I had a giant list of friends who, while I love and have experienced so much with, were there for a specific reason in my life or at a time in my life that I've evolved from. For example, I have some dear friends who I met while I was a missionary - and for a while I did all I could to keep in contact... but as I have changed from a faithful LDS missionary to a pastry chef living with his boyfriend in Chicago, I found I don't have the connection I once did. I'm just not sure anymore if I should make a strong effort to keep something alive that I no longer really recognize... Any thoughts?

Mara Adams

Yesterday I heard news from my Mom that Mara Adams, my niece Sadie's friend and fellow fighter of DIPG, passed away. I don't think I can express how much I despise the disease that my niece is fighting and Mara bravely fought. Profane words aren't powerful enough to express the anger and tears shed aren't enough to express the gut wrenching pain. It hits hard for me because, although I didn't know their family personally, I know what their family is going through. Being hundreds of miles away, I rely solely on communication through phone or internet simply because there is no way to be there physically... so I tend to hide in my work or keep myself busy to stay distracted. Such was the case yesterday when I heard the news of Mara. Tonight, however, I looked at Mara's blog which gave an account of her heroic battle with DIPG and I came across a picture that was taken a few weeks ago. It shows Mara at the hospital, smiling. She had just written on a chalkboard simply, 'Mara was here'. It made me smile... And for some reason, I was alright with everything. It's so amazing to me that these small children, who are dealt such a difficult card in their life are able to learn to live with their struggle without complaining and still enjoy life to the fullest. And with wonderful organizations like the Make-A-Wish Foundation and other countless organizations, fundraisers and community involvement, these kids bring hundreds of people together in the act of love and service. These kids live more and accomplish such a great deal in their short 5 or 6 years than many people do who live a long healthy life. To Sadie, Mara and many other countless kids who are or have faced this battle, thank you for giving me someone to truly look up to.

Funny how time flies...

The title to this blog is in respect to Janet (Miss Jackson, if your nasty) who recently kicked off her 'Rock Witchu Tour' (yes, I spelled that correctly). She is only playing at limited venues this tour and Chicago is one of the stops. *sigh* If only I had the time and money. But, to give you all a little taste...



Yes, her hair is in a mohawk. And yes, these are the 3 singles (Young Love, Say You Do, Don't Stand Another Chance) off of her first two albums (Janet Jackson, Dream Street)... People hardly know those albums exist because they did fairly poor on the charts and it was before she released Control - the album that really launched her career. Anyway, she has never done these songs on a tour... I died when I saw that she was performing them. Thank God for youtube - it makes it easier to swallow that I won't be going to the concert myself. (Can you tell I love me some Janet?! You all got trivia you never knew you wanted!!)

Anyway, time for an update. I am currently in a transition with my career here in Chicago. After failing to get the hours I needed at Zed451, I went on the hunt for other positions (either full-time or part-time, to make ends meet) I got a call back for a pastry cook position at the Westin Hotel at O'Hare and after staging for them, I was offered the full-time position.

(Side note: In my line of work, the interview process is in two parts. The first is the actual interview that you and I are all used to - with the same lame questions that you get asked in every other interview. The second part is called staging, where the candidate spends about 4 hours in the kitchen with everyone else... basically proving themselves in skill and seeing if they mesh well with everyone else. It's actually a great process because it gives both parties time to feel each other out and see if it feels right.)

Anyway, the stage went well and I felt very comfortable there. Plus, I was offered a bit more money and benefits (for me and Scott - hotels rock with benefits for gay and lesbian couples) so needless to say I jumped at the chance. I gave my notice at Zed last week, so I'm finishing out my final week. I can honestly say that even though the experience was fine there and I did learn a lot, I don't think I'll ever work in a restaurant again. It's just not for me.

My new position at the Westin starts on September 22. Beside the fact that the shift begins at 5:00 a.m., I'm really looking forward to it!

But wait. There's more...

Both Scott and I applied at the Marriott Downtown (on Michigan Avenue) - him for a reservations agent part-time and me for a pastry position. Scott got a call for an interview and during that process, Scott mentioned that I applied as well. The guy giving the interview gave Scott the name and number of the Executive Pastry Chef for the hotel and told me to call to ask about my resume. So I did - and it turns out that the position has already been filled. But the pastry chef was incredibly nice and offered to have me come in and tour the property and meet people. So I went in and met her and she gave me a fantastic tour of the hotel and introduced me to people, had me sample products, and sat down to talk with me. It was totally unexpected for me, but I figured it's great to have connections and the pastry chef was so great the entire time. So she said to keep in touch and said I was welcome to swing by to hang out and help out if I ever wanted to. I'm always down for learning new things and getting more experience, so I promised her I would keep in touch. I e-mailed her and thanked her for being so amazing and told her that I'd be keeping in touch. Well, I got an e-mail back asking me if I would be interested in working part-time and if I'd consider coming in to stage. I was so excited and set something up for the next week.
Long story short, I rocked the stage, got along with the bakery really well, and she offered me a part-time position there. I'll probably be starting that in the next few weeks... I'm thinking of working there about 8-10 hours a week.

Things just seem to be falling into place... It's a great feeling.

Also, I've been spending my days off getting to know the city a little bit better. I decided every week, I am going to go somewhere or do something that is unique to the city - just to expand my horizons a bit. This past week I went to an art exhibit at the Chicago Cultural Center where they were displaying art from inmates (who were or are being held in various Illinois prisons.) It was so moving. Many of the pieces had descriptions of what the inmates made and what it meant to them - and although many of the pieces were stunning and looked near professional, there were some pieces that came from maximum security prisons. I guess at certain prisons, art supplies aren't allowed, so inmates improvised by drawing on the backs of envelopes and folders and using ink from pens and colors from food dye (like M&M's) to create stunning images. Others made miniature sculptures from wrappers of candy bars or paper mache from old papers. It was so amazing to see these works of art from people who have little to no contact with the outside world who rely on art as a form of peace, therapy and contentment. It was very moving...
And if it couldn't get better than that, one level up, there was an entire floor that was carrying an exhibit of art work inspired by Marilyn Monroe. It was such an eclectic display of art and photographs... the classics from Bert Stern and Andy Warhol to movie stills and dramatic displays. I loved it so much...



I must say I'm a fan of the Chicago Cultural Center...

To end this blog, I must give all of y'all another taste of my girl. These ones I know you'll recognize...



(P.S. Thanks to those of you who responded to my last post regarding your favorite books - They are definitely on my 'to-read' list.)

Reflection and Rand

I was making dinner tonight and I realized that I needed some things at the market down the street - so I walked there and picked up what I needed and started on my way home. Then something in side my mind just clicked on and said "You live in Chicago." You know how you make choices in life, but it doesn't really click until later? I just find it interesting that if I had never met Scott, I would never be experiencing this. 5 years ago, Chicago was simply one of many major cities in the U.S. that I had never been to... and now, I live here. It made me smile to think about and I'm proud of myself (and Scott) that we have made the choice to be here. Sure there have been some struggles getting started - but I really feel some good things are going to happen soon.

In other news, I have been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand while riding the train to and from work. I love Ayn Rand's style. I read Anthem and nearly cried - and I am very much into this book as well. I am the type of person who reads books and underlines poignant phrases or sentences that stick out to me. Blame it on the fact that I was once a missionary who highlighted his scriptures heavily whenever I felt prompted to (which resulted in a very colorful set of scriptures) but here are some of the lines of Atlas Shrugged that has stuck out to me recently.

"He decided that pain was not a valid reason for stopping"

"Words were a lens to focus one's mind..."

"If joy is the aim and the core of existence, she thought, as if that which has the power to give one joy is always guarded as one's deepest secret, then they had seen each other naked in that moment."

"'Francisco, what's the most depraved type of human being?'
'The man without purpose.'"

"No matter how good you are, I'll expect you to wring everything you've got, trying to be still better. and when you've work yourself out to reach a goal, I'll expect you to start for another"

*Sigh* Now that I have time in between home and work, I've rediscovered my love for reading.That being said, once I'm done with Atlas Shrugged (which may take a little bit, being it is 1069 pages...) I'd like to read some of your favorites. So, please, leave a comment for me with your favorite books of all time and why you like them so much.

Existance is a reproduction

Something to chew on.

In the introduction to edition of The I-Ching (or Book of Changes) I am currently involved in, Richard Wilheim (the author of the translation) states that '...every event in the visible world is the effect of an "image," that is, of an idea in the unseen world. Accordingly, everything that happens on earth is only a reproduction, as it were, of an event in a world beyond our sense perception.'

I read this on the train the other morning and haven't been able to get it out of my mind... Just thought I'd pass it along.