Holidays 2009

I'm starting this post in Kansas City, MO. I'm coming up on the tail end of an eventful holiday and am now here in Missouri supporting Scott in his first professional opera gig. Apparently a wealthy couple was celebrating their 50th anniversary and wanted to have opera singers perform their favorite opera. Scott was a part of this opera production this previous summer in Chicago, so was chosen to perform here in Kansas City. Pretty exciting... I'm trying to refrain from gushing, but, truth be told, I'm so proud of him.

This holiday season has been a great one. Full of emotion, but overall wonderful. Work has been incredibly stressful, but in a different way than before. Where a few months I was working some hard 70+ hour weeks, I am now barely able to make 40 hours - but still be expected to produce the same amount of work. I was tired before, but now I am physically exhausted and want to sleep all the time. Granted, I don't - thank God for coffee and other caffeinated products.

I can't really complain though. My executive pastry chef is exceptionally wonderful at her job - she is a rare breed that can completely fulfill both the pastry aspect and the management aspect of the position. She is understanding of where I'm at personally and professionally in my career and is very supportive in helping me become all I can be. That being said, she can be a gigantic bitch. There have been numerous times, I am not proud to admit, that she has come down on me for not being fast enough, for not assessing a situation properly or for not managing my time well enough. I know that as I write this, she is stretching me to become the best I can be - but there are times that I want to either scream and throw something or cry. Or both. Her and I recently had a sit down and talked about my goals and plans for the future. I expressed my interest in management and learning all I can in baking and pastry. So with that in mind, she has not forgotten on what I want to learn and continues to push me to the edge everyday.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm tired all the time. The stress of the job isn't just trying to get everything to look and taste perfect, it's the stress of getting it perfect in the fastest amount of time possible with a wonderful/frightening boss looking at your every move.

Which is why I've been truly enjoying my time away from work and from Chicago. I needed a break and the fact that it is the holidays and that Scott has a gig in a random city I've never been to helped me tremendously.

Christmas was great this year. Scott and I were actually able to wait until the 23rd to exchange gifts (usually neither of us can wait to give a gift, so we tend to give the gift the day we bought it). Scott got me a new camera and a beautiful glass mug set from Crate and Barrel, I got Scott a new external hard drive for his computer (doesn't sound exciting, but the man needed it) and a set of lovely champagne glasses from Crate and Barrel (great minds think alike). We also got each other stocking stuffers - I got him a new Vivica Genaux C.D. and he got me stainless steel measuring spoons and a wine bottle stopper. We also got each other the same snacks from World Market without the other knowing it - delicious imported grape gummies, dark chocolate bar with sea salt and ginger mints.

I worked the few days leading up to Christmas, including Christmas Eve. That day nearly killed me at work (see description of work above) and then I raced home to get ready for the Christmas service at church. There was a little pre-party with the choir members before the service started, then we all went over to the church to sing our little hearts out for the Christmas service. Its been pretty interesting singing with the choir. I, by no means, have a great singing voice - it is fairly average, in fact - but being able to sing the unique pieces we've sung and having the spiritual aspect of church to look forward to on a weekly basis has been a great experience. Not to forget, I love being a part of the choir when Scott is singing a solo - it sounds lame, but it makes me feel like I'm able to be a part of what he does and it makes me feel a little closer to him. That being said, the Christmas service was beautiful and full of music - some of the music was stunning, some that was a little odd - but all in all was a great privilege to be a part of. The service ended with the entire congregation singing Silent Night and the only light was from all of us holding candles - I'm not sure if that is typical of a Christmas service, but it was lovely and something I've never experienced. I got a tad emotional, given the year I've had, and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed the entire experience. Especially since Christmas Eve has always been my family's time and it will always be hard to be away from them on that day. Talking on the phone with them during the party just isn't the same, you know? (Plus, I kept thinking how nice it will be to have this year over with. It has been such a rollercoaster.)

Anyway, the next morning, Scott and I got up early and hit the road. We were able to get to Des Moines by 1:00 or so and spent the entire day and night at his dad's house. It has been interesting to see an evolution in Scott and his dad's relationship - there has been quite a history with them, but the more Scott and I spend with his dad and his step-mom, Karen, the more I love and respect them. Take for instance the fact that they put a picture of Scott and I up in their home. It may seem small, but that little gesture nearly made me break out into tears. (Are you all getting the bottom line that I am emotional?!) I've never known acceptance like that - scratch that, not just acceptance, but love and support of us as a couple. They, as well as Scott's mom Collette, freely give us a place to stay whenever we are in town - I've never felt more welcome and more part of the family than I did over this holiday.

Scott and I got spoiled with gifts - we got some amazing books, some incredible cooking/baking supplies, among other things. The most exciting thing though was the fact that Scott's sister, Stacy, had her baby boy, Samson Ferris Hancock on December 28th. Unfortunately, it was the first night that Scott and I got into Kansas City, so we haven't been able to meet the little guy yet, but we are so excited to see him.

It made me think of all my nieces and nephews back in Utah - I sure miss them all so much. I miss Sadie everyday and thought of her a great deal over the past month - I still check Sadie's blog everyday. It has become habit. No longer am I checking to see if there is an update in her condition, but I still like to know that people besides me are thinking of her regularly. My sis does a great job at doing that.

God, what an emotional year. What an emotional holiday. Wish you all the best start to your new year - Oh. And Scott and I decided that instead of 'resolutions', we are doing 'New Years Renovations'. Feel free to jump on that train. ;)

Resolutions/Thanksgiving

As many of you know, my birthday this past year was an emotional one. I had moved back to Utah for a few months to be with my family while my niece fought a incredibly brave battle with cancer - she passed away the day before my 26th birthday. I don't remember much about my birthday except that I was numb and didn't really do much of anything - at least that's what I thought. Today I came across a list of my new year's resolutions - See, I decided (with the wise advice from a close friend) that resolutions should start on your birthday and be your goals and plans for your new year. I don't remember making a list, but I did - and it goes as follows:

• Commit time to getting in touch with myself spiritually
• Learn more about Jesus Christ - hopefully develop faith in Him
• Learn major chords on the guitar
• Commit myself to writing more poetry
• Find a stable career in Chicago that I love, has great benefits for Scott and myself.
• Get a new tattoo (in remembrance of Sadie)
• Read a new book every month
• Learn to love exercising (especially building muscle - not just doing cardio all the time)

I post it here now simply because a new year is coming up and since we as a people tend to draw our attention to resolutions and trying to make ourselves better, it felt somewhat appropriate. There are a few things on my list that I haven't even touched - learning to love exercising, learning major chords on the guitar, and getting a tattoo to name a few. But there are some that have already happened or are in the process of happening. The way things worked out with Marriott has given me a very stable career here in Chicago that I love completely and as of last week, Scott and I have insurance and benefits. By taking the train to work, I have a good 45 minutes each way with nothing much to do - except read. As a result, I've been able to read a new book every couple weeks.
And regarding spirituality, I'm sure it goes without saying that it is something that is definitely not a destination, but a journey - and I'm in the process. I've mentioned this in previous blogs, but because of Sadie, I have started a very serious journey of faith centered around Jesus Christ. I've been spending quite a bit of time reading, praying, relying on my feelings and intuition about what feels right - and as a result I do have faith in Jesus Christ. It may be small at this point, but it is there - and I'm curious to see where this road takes me in the future.
So while my new years resolution may have been written and forgotten about for a while, it's been interesting to look at it now and assess what I've been able to do and what now needs to be taken care of to make my life a little bit better. (And I partly posted it on here to make it more concrete in my mind that those things need to get taken care of.)

In other news, Thanksgiving was great. Scott and were able to take a few days off and head up to Des Moines to spend time with his family - and what a family they are. I've been told by nearly each one of them on separate occasions that I am part of the family. They make me feel completely welcome and I never feel like Scott and I being in a relationship is ever an issue. In fact, the reason I find it so amazing to be around them is that it's not an issue at all. I don't know if that makes sense at all, but it is what it is. We were able to relax, go shopping some, eat a lot, and put up some Christmas decorations. (And it was nice for me to have 3 days off in a row after the schedule I've had recently) We spent the majority of the time at his mom's house and spent the last afternoon at his dad's house, leaving back to Chicago soon after. It was great to spend some time with them and it'll be nice to head back here in a few weeks for Christmas.

And speaking of Christmas, Scott and I have officially decorated for the holidays. It took some rearranging and a good chunk of time, but we have our tree up and all the holiday decorations out. Here is a little picture of what it all looks like:


Today was filled with decorating, listening to classic Christmas music (which has to include the Carpenters, in my opinion) and spending some much needed quality time with Scott. All in all, a wonderful day off.

I also wanted to post a picture or two of the gingerbread castle that almost killed me.
This picture doesn't do much justice - it has over 1000 pounds of gingerbread on it. It's probably about 12 feet wide and roughly 9 feet high, all the windows are sugar (poured by hand), a train runs through the entire thing, and on the left side there is a giant teapot that pours chocolate into a big teacup. It took about 12 of us and 6 weeks to finish the entire thing (and do all of our regular responsibilities on top of it). Good times had by all.

Anyway, hope your holidays are off to a great start. I'll be in touch again soon.

The Holiday

There has been a whole lot of Christmas going on over the past few weeks. No complaints at all - I am just beyond tired now as a result. As I'm writing this, I'm feeling a bit under the weather - and since Scott and I just got back to Chicago last night after being in Des Moines for nearly a week, I'm taking advantage of this time to take it easy.
Like I said before, this month has been incredibly busy. Well, let me clarify. Work has been incredibly slow - which has given me plenty of opportunity to enjoy a packed and fulfilling holiday season. Earlier this month, after a series of coincidences, I was able to travel home for an extended weekend. When I moved to Chicago, I initially thought that I'd more than likely not be traveling to Utah again for a while (including the holidays) because of being at a new job and lack of money. Well, with my hotel being mainly business clientele and with the ecomony the way it is, I've been given an abundance of time off (some I requested, much I did not - a blessing and curse in itself). Along with that, Scott came across a travel voucher through United Airlines he needed to use before the beginning of 2009 and wondered if I could use it... the amount of the voucher nearly covered the entire cost of the round-trip flight. Suffice to say, I jumped at the chance to go. I had set myself up for so long with the thought that I wouldn't see my family for a long time that when I saw this opportunity, I jumped at it without question.
The trip home was definitely needed. I think for the most part, I consider myself an independent person - but there is that small part of me that longs for home. There's just something unique about being in my mom's house, drinking a Coke, and talking with my family about anything that comes to mind. I miss that. And I think I miss the fact that it's not easily accessible anymore.
At any rate, it was wonderful. I was able to spend some quality time with each of my siblings and their families and also spent a great deal of time with my mom. I also had the opportunity to attend a few parties... One was a holiday party with one of my best friends Caitie, another was a party with my extended family. There was a time a few years back that I vowed to myself that I would never go back to the party because of the blatant awkwardness... well, that changed and I went. It seemed to coincidental that I was home the exact weekend that the party was happening, so I took that opportunity to visit with my extended family. It was so great to see them - it has been a while. I still keep in touch with a few through the miracle of the internet - and for that reason, seeing them was more special. There were a few people in my family that hardly made eye contact, but I didn't take it personal. In fact, I expected more of that then there was.... so I was pleasantly surprised. :) Following that party, I went to Dani's (my brothers wife) 30th birthday party. She had an 80's Glam Rock theme, so everyone had torn jeans, ratted out hair, tacky neon colors - it was bliss. I'm pretty sure it was the greatest theme for a party that I've ever been to. Throw in the fact that I drank half a bottle of courvoisier and played the hell out of Guitar Hero, and that's my idea of a great party.
Anyway, Utah was great. I didn't let anyone else besides close family know that I was coming... if there is one thing I can't stand, it's obligation. I hate it when someone knows I'm coming into town and they expect me to show up and hang out while I'm there. This trip was simply for my family - and for me. Because I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't have seen them over the holidays.
Besides going home, Scott and I also had a great Christmas party at our place. It was primarily for all of the students in his class (about 18 or so) - so we did a huge dessert spread and everyone was dressed up... Scott and I decided that we love to have people over and entertain. And especially since we have all this extra room, why the hell not?
For Christmas, Scott and I headed up to Des Moines. I won't lie - I was a little ancy about going for an entire week because I really like (translation: need) my alone time - and I usually don't feel comfortable in other peoples homes when I'm staying there. But his mom is amazing and despite the fact she was going a mile a minute with planning, baking, wrapping, and all the other Christmas joys, she made us feel completely welcome and comfortable. We spend alot of time with his siblings and mom - which was great because their relationship reminds me a great deal of my family - ...made cookies, baked and cooked continually, exchanged gifts, ate too much - all the little joys that make Christmas so grand.
I won't lie though. After getting back from Des Moines, I was Christmas'd out. I felt like I needed to sleep for days to recover from all the festivities. And even though it's not the most ideal of situations to have work be so slow during this time, it was amazing to be able to have the freedom to not only enjoy the holiday, but to be so completely drained from the holiday that I was glad to have it over and back to normal. :) Good times, good times...

Anyway, to all who might happen to read this, I hope your holiday was amazing and I wish you the best with 2009!