Really.

Dear Shitty Economy,

As much as I love all the time off that my work has been forced to give me because of you, I really enjoy working and making money. I'm not going to point any fingers or blame anyone or anything, Economy, for the reason you are so damn shitty, but it's time to turn things around.

With love,

Nik

Third Person

I'm in the process of cleaning off my desk and I came across a paper I wrote a few months ago on a random whim describing myself in third person. At the time, I thought "People tend to write about their own lives all the time, but what if someone wrote about my life? I wonder what they'd say?" So - Instead of being my humble self, I wrote what I honestly felt and tried not to edit myself. It's a very short (and very rough) draft, but I thought it'd be fun to share... and extend a challenge to anyone who reads this to try it. It's interesting what you come up with.

"Long slender fingers showing wear of a working man with a feminine touch. He could accomplish miracles with those hands - not on a large scale, but more everyday ones that most take for granted. And he never did take it for granted. His skill was an art and he considered it a gift from a higher source - and he was determined to make the most of it.
He used to doubt himself in the most peculiar way. He considered accomplishments were chance and never allowed himself to be happy. In fact, he denied it, thinking somehow a lack of joy would compensate in the end. Because it was what he once believed. No - because it was what he once was told to believe.
He tends to ponder at great lengths how the minds of humanity must work - and seeks to justify in his own mind why people think and act the way they do. He may never fully understand, but constantly aims to try."

The Holiday

There has been a whole lot of Christmas going on over the past few weeks. No complaints at all - I am just beyond tired now as a result. As I'm writing this, I'm feeling a bit under the weather - and since Scott and I just got back to Chicago last night after being in Des Moines for nearly a week, I'm taking advantage of this time to take it easy.
Like I said before, this month has been incredibly busy. Well, let me clarify. Work has been incredibly slow - which has given me plenty of opportunity to enjoy a packed and fulfilling holiday season. Earlier this month, after a series of coincidences, I was able to travel home for an extended weekend. When I moved to Chicago, I initially thought that I'd more than likely not be traveling to Utah again for a while (including the holidays) because of being at a new job and lack of money. Well, with my hotel being mainly business clientele and with the ecomony the way it is, I've been given an abundance of time off (some I requested, much I did not - a blessing and curse in itself). Along with that, Scott came across a travel voucher through United Airlines he needed to use before the beginning of 2009 and wondered if I could use it... the amount of the voucher nearly covered the entire cost of the round-trip flight. Suffice to say, I jumped at the chance to go. I had set myself up for so long with the thought that I wouldn't see my family for a long time that when I saw this opportunity, I jumped at it without question.
The trip home was definitely needed. I think for the most part, I consider myself an independent person - but there is that small part of me that longs for home. There's just something unique about being in my mom's house, drinking a Coke, and talking with my family about anything that comes to mind. I miss that. And I think I miss the fact that it's not easily accessible anymore.
At any rate, it was wonderful. I was able to spend some quality time with each of my siblings and their families and also spent a great deal of time with my mom. I also had the opportunity to attend a few parties... One was a holiday party with one of my best friends Caitie, another was a party with my extended family. There was a time a few years back that I vowed to myself that I would never go back to the party because of the blatant awkwardness... well, that changed and I went. It seemed to coincidental that I was home the exact weekend that the party was happening, so I took that opportunity to visit with my extended family. It was so great to see them - it has been a while. I still keep in touch with a few through the miracle of the internet - and for that reason, seeing them was more special. There were a few people in my family that hardly made eye contact, but I didn't take it personal. In fact, I expected more of that then there was.... so I was pleasantly surprised. :) Following that party, I went to Dani's (my brothers wife) 30th birthday party. She had an 80's Glam Rock theme, so everyone had torn jeans, ratted out hair, tacky neon colors - it was bliss. I'm pretty sure it was the greatest theme for a party that I've ever been to. Throw in the fact that I drank half a bottle of courvoisier and played the hell out of Guitar Hero, and that's my idea of a great party.
Anyway, Utah was great. I didn't let anyone else besides close family know that I was coming... if there is one thing I can't stand, it's obligation. I hate it when someone knows I'm coming into town and they expect me to show up and hang out while I'm there. This trip was simply for my family - and for me. Because I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't have seen them over the holidays.
Besides going home, Scott and I also had a great Christmas party at our place. It was primarily for all of the students in his class (about 18 or so) - so we did a huge dessert spread and everyone was dressed up... Scott and I decided that we love to have people over and entertain. And especially since we have all this extra room, why the hell not?
For Christmas, Scott and I headed up to Des Moines. I won't lie - I was a little ancy about going for an entire week because I really like (translation: need) my alone time - and I usually don't feel comfortable in other peoples homes when I'm staying there. But his mom is amazing and despite the fact she was going a mile a minute with planning, baking, wrapping, and all the other Christmas joys, she made us feel completely welcome and comfortable. We spend alot of time with his siblings and mom - which was great because their relationship reminds me a great deal of my family - ...made cookies, baked and cooked continually, exchanged gifts, ate too much - all the little joys that make Christmas so grand.
I won't lie though. After getting back from Des Moines, I was Christmas'd out. I felt like I needed to sleep for days to recover from all the festivities. And even though it's not the most ideal of situations to have work be so slow during this time, it was amazing to be able to have the freedom to not only enjoy the holiday, but to be so completely drained from the holiday that I was glad to have it over and back to normal. :) Good times, good times...

Anyway, to all who might happen to read this, I hope your holiday was amazing and I wish you the best with 2009!

Facebook

Today is the first day off I've had in about 7 days. Needless to say, I've done a lot of nothing. Ok, I take that back. I did about 5 loads of laundry - but how hard is it to put clothes in a machine and walk away? Seriously. I did spend a lot of time online for many different purposes - work related, downloading music, researching different things, etc. But one thing that has stuck out in my mind today is Facebook. I didn't realize how many people have a facebook account - which is actually a very fascinating thing to me. I've found in my life that I am very much like a book. I feel that there have been many chapters in my life and feel I'll have many more - but I find that when I move to a new chapter in my life (now for instance is Chicago) I leave the previous chapters behind - thinking of them fondly, but leaving them in the past. With Facebook, however, I have friends from (literally) every chapter in my life. Old friends I grew up with, members of the ward I grew up in, people from middle and high school, people from the mission, when I lived in Las Vegas, people here in Chicago - I feel like every chapter in my life has suddenly mashed into one. I no longer wonder what people have been up to over the past 10 years because I get a constant news feed on them. I'm not sure yet if I consider this a good thing or a bad thing... I always felt like my life had a sense of mystery - as though every person I knew had a piece of the puzzle of who I am, but didn't know me completely. Now most all of the people who holds these pieces are together in one spot and I feel... open? naked? not mysterious at all? I'm not sure what word or description I'm looking for, but it's just a bazaar feeling. Am I the only one who feels this? Odds are that anyone who reads this has a facebook account - is it just weird for you to have so many people from your past in your present?

Prop 8

I won't lie. When I heard of the results of Proposition 8, I felt a huge lump in my throat. I got emotional. In fact, I'm upset and saddened by every single state that passed a ban on gay marriage. In California, the votes were very close - so, although the outcome isn't how I would've liked, it's great to see that there are enough people in that state who support gay marriage.
While it is true that Proposition 8 didn't effect either state I've resided in this year and I don't have intentions on getting married soon (if it were even possible for me to do so), I know many people who are from those states whose love and desires are pure and true - yet had their rights taken away. It's just sad. I don't know what else to say.

The votes are in...

Although I live in Chicago, I couldn't make it down to Grant Park to enjoy the celebration of our new President... The joys of working early. But let me just say that there was a roar of cheers and screams in my apartment building and I've never felt more proud to be an American. I don't know if I've ever felt any sense of faith and hope in our government and now I feel it happening. And it feels good. :)

My lack of personality is catching up with me...

The past few weeks, like I said in my last post, have been filled with work... and now I finally have time to sit and jot down a few things.

First off, do you guys remember me telling you about the Marriott Downtown and how they made a part-time position for me after I rocked their stage? Well. Here's the update. They told me that all I needed to do was fill out the online application and the personality test and we'd be squared away. I'm not sure what exactly they were looking for, but the first time I didn't pass the personality assessment. So I got a call back from the Executive Pastry Chef there (who I get along very well with) and she told me the news. She asked me to try it again, but this time fill out every answer the way the Marriott would ideally want... just play it up. So I did. And I didn't pass it again. So I got another call from her asking me to try it again - annoyed, but really wanting this position, I did it. I even called a dear friend who works at the Marriott for some advice on what I might need to do to pass it. So I felt confident in the test and sent the Marriott a message telling them I finished the application and waited to hear back from them.....
.....Fast forward 2 1/2 weeks and I still hadn't heard anything. It was hard not to assume that I didn't pass or that they decided not to create that position they had made for me - but I gave it one last effort and e-mailed the pastry chef about the results. It turns out that I didn't pass the personality portion again and that they ended up giving the position to someone else. Needless to say, I was a little furious. And confused. As Scott reminded me, I had worked for Marriott twice before - they seemed to like my personality then... why not now? Suffice to say, I don't care much for personality tests anymore. I have the experience, I have the knowledge, and I was even offered the position - but because of that test, it didn't work out. I am very much of the belief that everything happens for a reason, so with the effort and time I put into this position and having it still not work out, I can't help but feel that it just wasn't meant to be from the start. I'm not sure why... but when I figure it out, I'll let you all know.

That's the most recent drama in my life. Other than that, things are going very well. Work at the Westin is getting back to normal - I just filled out all the information for benefits for Scott and I... so we should have insurance just in time for the winter. It's so weird sometimes to be an adult - I never expected something like insurance for me and my partner to be high on the list of my priorities. But I'm glad it is now - I'm sure it'll come in handy. :)

Anyway, Halloween is coming up, which is actually my sisters birthday! Growing up, we'd always deck out thehouse in Halloween decorations - it was always a big deal. This year is no exception... Scott decided to throw a big Halloween party, so I took it upon myself to decorate the apartment with pictures, spider webs, lights, pumpkins, etc. It's pretty much the shit. And as an added bonus, I'm dressing up as David Bowie from the Labyrinth.
Granted, my facial features aren't as pointy - but other than that, I have the whole damn outfit ready. Including a large package. Pictures are sure to follow.

And lastly and very importantly, Scott's opera is this weekend!! I'm so excited to see then man in action. He's been telling me how crazy his character is and how he rocks it - so I'll be sure to tell you more about that in the near future.